What Will Be
by Linda09
Summary: This is my interpretation of how Smallville will end, yet at the same time carry on, so that SUPERMAN and the accompanying mythos can be begin. The story moves between T mostly to M for the occasional strong language and sexual content .
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** What Will Be

**Author:** Linda09

**Disclaimer:** I am not in any way affiliated with DC Comics, Smallville or anything else, I do not own the characters and am making no profit on this. The only thing I do own is THIS story which is mine.

**Rating:** The story moves between T (mostly) to M (for the occasional strong language and sexual content). However, as it had to be classified, I chose what I felt would be the best rating overall and made it **M**. If you are underage, and shouldn't be reading the adult stuff please do not do so. If you are of age but don't like sexual content, just bypass it.

**Opening Note from Author:** The longer Smallville goes on, and the older Clark gets, the one question that has thundered through my head (getting progressively louder each year), has been; _How on earth will he ever manage to pull the wool over anyone's eyes, so they won't know he's Superman?_

I figure that unless everyone in the SV universe has the mental capacity of a goldfish and can't remember anything for more than 3 seconds; he can't. Admittedly the glasses are a ridiculous disguise to start with, but even if Clark could bamboozle most people he could never, **NOT EVER** deceive either Lois or Lex for a split second.

So I've been trying to figure out how to fix this minor detail; that's really quite a HUGE detail, and after learning about the legion ring that Clark used in 'Infamous' I saw the light, looked it up on Wiki (to find out what it can actually do), and thought hmmm, this is the only way I can think off on how he can reasonably do it.

For Clark to able to hide his identity I think something like this is necessary. The thought of a whole world filled with people so stupid they can't even tell he's Superman, even though he's been right in their face all this time scares me. Even more alarming is those people then being allowed to pass their defective genes onto their offspring; shivers.

So this is my interpretation of how Smallville will end, so that Superman and the accompanying mythos can begin given what I've got to work with due to SV's influence in this particular DC universe. Anyway, that being said this story will have bits of the Superman movie 1&2 (with Margot Kidder and Christopher Reeve), Lois & Clark the New Adventures of Superman and Smallville interwoven altogether.

Linda

***

**Chapter 1**

Clark pushed back the sleeve of his shirt, looked at his watch and sighed heavily in disappointment. She was over an hour late, which meant she wasn't coming.

When he asked Lois to meet him for coffee, he'd ensured to keep the invitation casual. He hadn't phrased it like he was proposing a date, hadn't done anything to let her know just how badly he wanted her to meet him. He knew that if she was aware of his feelings for her that she'd let him down kindly, and say that she wasn't interested in him that way.

She'd told him that she would come if she could make it, but either she'd forgotten about it, or forgotten about him in the pursuit of her work.

He'd been hoping this one coffee date would lead to more casual meetings, until they'd established some kind of routine, and one day she would finally see HIM. Then he could ask her out on a real date which would hopefully go so well that she'd say yes to another, and another until eventually his dreams of winning her heart back for his own came true. But it hadn't worked because he was here, but Lois wasn't.

He was well aware that if he'd asked her to meet him as Superman, not only would Lois have turned up early, more than likely she would have dressed up in the sexiest outfit she owned, or run out and bought a new one. She was crazy in love with the superhero, but Clark Kent was just her partner at work and her best friend. If she only knew the kind of thoughts her friend had about her.

"Would you like another cup of coffee while you wait sir?" At the sound of the voice at his elbow, he turned and shook his head "No, thanks anyway."

"She didn't come?" The waitress asked sympathetically.

"No, she didn't." He replied softly.

Pushing back his seat, he paid what was owed and left. Half a block away, he wondered if Lois had turned up just as he'd left, and was now curious about his whereabouts. Zipping back he checked the coffee shop carefully, swept his eyes over the tables outside, then through the inside and felt disheartened to see that she wasn't there. Trudging away, he crossed the street and looked back once more only to see the back of a slim woman with a familiar head of brunette hair disappearing into the coffee shop. Rushing back, he tapped her on the shoulder, and smiled wide in greeting but his face fell when she turned around and he saw a stranger looking back at him "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

The woman smiled, and after excusing himself, Clark turned and walked away; and this time he kept walking.

Once at home, he changed out of the casual but nice outfit he was wearing into jeans and t-shirt, before taking a seat on the couch in the lounge room. Sighing heavily once again, he closed his eyes as his mind spun back in time, taking him from the here and now, to the distant past when his relationship with Lois Lane had slowly changed from friendship, and evolved into love.

When he first met Lois he didn't like her, anymore than she liked him. She made it clear that he wasn't her type, and he'd returned the compliment. As the years passed they spent more and more time together, which subsequently drew them closer until they became friends. They saw each other through the good and bad times, when they were at their best and worst. He slowly came to realise his feelings for Lois were unlike any he'd had for another girl, and knew that she felt the same way about him. There was no romantic feelings, no complicated fussy, messy sentimental slush to be cautious about; just friendship.

However, when she first started liking him romantically he'd felt....flattered. Lois was strong, independent, and plucky. He was used to being liked and liking girls of Lana's stamp. Wishy washy females who didn't know what they wanted from one day to the next, but needed him to save them from their own folly.

Around the time that Lois started liking him, he in turn began to feel more than friendship towards her, and at Chloe's wedding made his move and his interest in her obvious. However, when Lana chose that moment to reappear, Lois was swiftly pushed aside and forgotten.

It was no longer important that he knew Lana wasn't his destiny. He'd known that for a long time, and confirmed it when he asked Lois after the Maxima incident, how he was supposed to discern 'the one' when he met her. If he'd always believed Lana was that person, he wouldn't have needed to ask Lois anything. Hell truth be told, he wouldn't even have listened to her Harley talk years before. Back then he would have told Lois that her analogy while nice didn't apply to him; and only a few months ago informed Maxima that he'd already met the girl who was his destiny, and whether she was with him or not made little difference.

But seeing Lana again brought all the hopes and dreams he'd had of them to life once more. So he turned away from the man he was becoming, reverted back to the boy he'd always been, and played the same game he'd been playing for years. Being with Lana, loving her was familiar. It took no effort, no courage, no questions, or thinking on his part. The new feelings that had begun to grow for Lois were extinguished in favour of the familiar.

Lois was an unknown quantity. The feelings he had for her were undefined. They were new, exciting and frightening, but they made him feel awkward. He didn't like new, he was far more comfortable with the firmly established. He didn't want excitement, he had enough of that in his daily life just being an alien, and he didn't want frightening, not even if it was bound up in the thrill of heat.

Lana by comparison was a very well known quantity. She already knew everything there was to know about him, he didn't have to start from scratch worried that she wouldn't accept him. He didn't have to put himself out at all; he'd already done all the hard work, which hadn't been all that hard really. Begging, pleading and waiting for Lana was what he knew how to do, he was comfortable doing it. He'd never been scared of his feelings for her, they'd taken no effort from him at all, they'd cost him nothing, but starting anew with Lois could cost him everything. Even after Lex got his revenge to keep them apart, it didn't matter that they could never be together physically, it didn't matter that she wasn't 'the one', what mattered was that he didn't have to start all over again with someone new, and that was more important to him than anything else. He was a coward, but at least if Lana stayed then he'd be a coward who'd never have to worry about being alone again.

At the time it all seemed so wrenchingly heartbreaking, but looking back now Clark could see that all they did was once again act out the same tired old scene they'd already chewed over, churned over and spat out a hundred times or more already. They hit play and automatically he was the supplicant at Lana's knees begging her to stay, she gave him a variation of same tearful ardent speech that she'd given him twice before and after she was done, she walked away. Letting out a small snort, Clark shook his head and figured that he should be grateful for small favours. At least that time she'd had the guts to do it to his face, rather than pretending to be dead, or leaving him a video.

When Lois came back to Metropolis, he picked her up and clumsily mentioned the wedding. Although it was clear that she felt somewhat awkward about doing so, she offered to meet him for coffee to discuss things; and in return he once again behaved like the perfect heel, and stood her up. Having coffee with someone wasn't a commitment, but everyone knew it was a polite way for two people to scope each other out, without being obvious about it to find out if interest was reciprocated. Admittedly he'd come to see Lois in a new light during the fiasco of his secret being revealed, but not this much light. This scared him. This was too much commitment for a guy whose only goal in life was being Lana's puppet. That he was used to, that he could handle, but having a cup of coffee with Lois was getting into heavy water, and it was just too much too soon for him.

Standing Lois up was bad enough, but since he was too cowardly to even meet her, he should have been gentlemanly enough to stay away rather than watching her waiting for him. Being stood up was never pleasant, being stood up by someone who'd been making the moves on you prior to his ex returning must have hurt. Being stood up when you'd put yourself out there after he'd left you high and dry took guts, the kind Lois had and he didn't. And then he'd capped it all by watching her waiting for him.

He'd needed that. Although he felt bad seeing her sitting there all alone, he didn't feel so bad that he was prepared to push aside his own discomfort and join her, even though he was aware that he owed her an explanation. After being dumped by Lana once again, he'd needed to see that someone wanted him, someone strong like Lois. So as lousy as he felt for not joining her, his ego had received a nice little boost to see her waiting for him. When he sent the lying message that he couldn't make it, and in return Lois tried to save face by saying she couldn't make it either, his ego received another boost. How could it not? After pleading with and being rebuffed by Lana once again it felt good to be the one in control; the one that was desired. After this Lois could say what she liked about him, but he knew the truth because he knew that she was lying, but she didn't know that he was too.

He very swiftly learnt that he was wrong. After he didn't turn up that night, Lois gave up on him. Clark Kent was written off as just another mistake. He'd clearly fallen far in her estimation as a romantic beau, and her attention not to mention her affections, soon turned to the man she considered a real hero; the Blur.

She didn't even know what he looked like, but that seemed infinitely unimportant to her. What she seemed impressed with was his unselfish willingness to help others. He was flattered by her trust in him, and enjoyed their chats. As the Blur he could talk to her in a way that he'd never felt comfortable doing with anyone else, and in turn Lois opened up to him as she'd never done with another.

Maybe because of her feelings for the Blur, maybe because she just figured that he wasn't worth her time, but even though it was never spoken off, Lois eventually forgave him for sweeping her aside in favour of Lana, and for standing her up for their coffee date. From her side of the equation they were once again back to being just work colleagues and friends; from his side it wasn't so cut and dried.

His feelings for Lois once again began to bloom, but it was the Blur that she now wanted, so he used that connection to get closer to her. Working with her at the Planet, talking to her as the Blur, made him realise for the first time that he could have it all. As Clark; he could make a difference in the world by reporting the news and uncovering injustice. As the Blur, that there was no shame in being different; and not every girl was too weak to stand by his side.

He now wanted Lois to see that Clark Kent could be the kind of man that she spoke so highly off when talking about the Blur; that he could be the kind of man deserving of her affection.

Then she disappeared, and he missed her with a fierceness that he'd never felt for anyone. His eyes had been opened at last, but it had taken losing her before that happened. It was only when she was gone, that he understood just how much she really meant to him.

As much as he thought he'd loved Lana, as painful as he'd found her absence to be when she left, he hadn't felt bereft enough to turn away from the people he was closest to. Not so for Lois. After she was vanished he couldn't even bear to be around those who were closest to her; it hurt too much. So he turned away and cut himself adrift, determined that if he was going to be of any use to humanity, then it was time that he separated himself from them.

When Lois returned three weeks later, he likewise came out of hiding, and it wasn't long before he was back at her side ready to pick up the reigns of the life he'd left behind. But now that he knew just how much he needed her, he was all the more resolved not to lose her from his life once again. However, even though he wanted to be with Lois, he didn't want the Blur to be a part of their relationship.

He'd learnt a couple of important lessons when he'd foolishly come out to the world as an alien. That hadn't been one of the smartest moves he'd ever made, and thank goodness it wasn't irreparable, but at least by doing it he'd come to understand that the human race, despite all their supposed sophistication just wasn't ready to have aliens living amongst them so openly. Lois herself was the other reason. He'd come to discover that he needed at least one person in his life that didn't know about him. He said it was for her safety, but it was really for his sanity.

When his friends found out what he could do, they looked at and treated him differently. Their expressions of friendship, impatience or tolerant amusement changed to wonder. They put expectations on him in one way or another, and their conversations were dominated by talk of his powers or his hero status. But as Lois didn't know about him she treated him like an ordinary person, and he craved that connection. She also didn't hesitate to kick his ass verbally as both Clark and the Blur, and he not only needed that, he appreciated it.

Then on the day that he could hear her thoughts, he tricked her into going on a date. Even though he told Chloe that he hadn't, he knew that he had; and then he stood her up. His reasons for doing so were valid, but Lois didn't know that. She didn't know why he was standing her up after coaxing her into going on a date in the first place, or why he was trying to cut her out of a story; she just knew that he was doing both.

When he saw her at work the next morning, he'd wanted to make up in a way that once again didn't cost him anything. When he told her that she'd missed all the excitement the previous night, she promptly gave him the first of two slap downs by replying "If I remember correctly, it wasn't my excitement to miss; was it?" That was Lois, guileless, in your face, and direct; she didn't believe in mincing words.

He couldn't tell her that he'd only cut her out because he'd been protecting her from being hurt; so instead told her that he'd bitten of more than he could chew, and asked for her help with the story; and she had been professional enough to give it to him. But when she asked if he was holding out an olive branch for the previous night, and informed him that it wasn't every day she allowed herself to be stood up, he'd wanted to regain the upper hand, so smilingly corrected her and said "Well then it's a good thing it was only...like a date."

Interpretation: _Lois, I was too gutless to ask you for a date, y'know in case you turned me down. So if you were disappointed it was by your own expectations not by me, because I never actually referred to it as a date per see; it was only ever __**like a date**__ remember?_

He didn't have to say it out loud; his non verbal was loud enough, and she heard it.

She tried to keep valiantly smiling, but let out a tiny sigh of disappointment; which was actually a nice little zing of her own back.

Interpretation: _You'll always be a chicken shit Kent._

He received her return message loud and clear.

He considered himself lucky that she left it at the sigh, and didn't roll her eyes before sarcastically remarking "Like a date....what are you 10?" If she had addressed him so directly, he would have been completely flummoxed and blurted out "Yeah; and I need your help to grow up."

_Like a date_. It was so juvenile, so pathetic, and he'd more than deserved the second sighing little slap down she'd given him for saying it. He saw the flash of disillusion in her eyes at his words, but instead of challenging him she let him off the hook. Since Lois was a forthright person who didn't tend to pull her punches, he was grateful that she'd taken it easy on him.

Since he seemed to be on a winning streak, he decided it couldn't hurt to pump her for information on the best way to approach her with another invitation. So in the most casual of manners he posed the question; "I don't even know how someone would get a second date after messing things up like that."

Interpretation: _I want to ask, but I'm too scared you'll tell me to go and suck eggs. Is there any way I can get you to go out with me again, with little to no effort on my part?_

In reply she stepped closer, and advised him softly; "Well if people were to try that again, they might want to try on a slower news day....hypothetically speaking."

Interpretation: _What second date? According to you we didn't even have a first date; we only had a first __**'like a date'**__ that you asked me out on, then promptly stood me up for....remember? And FYI; just in case you missed it; the tacked on 'hypothetically speaking' means that I can play word games too._

Having no problem deciphering her communiqué, but trying to recover some ground from the quicksand he was quickly sinking under, he told her what they both already knew; "Well those don't come along very often."

Interpretation: _You're going to make me sweat until I admit it, aren't you? Ok, fine; it was a date! You know it, I know it, and now I've admitted it. So can you please give me a break and meet me half way here?_

And she'd simply answered; "No."

Interpretation: _No_

And now he knew exactly what her words meant when she walked away from him the previous night, and why she'd let him off the hook so easily a minute earlier. She was saying 'no' to everything. Lois was telling him that she'd had enough of his vacillation. It was too late for second chances because he'd used them all up. He'd let her down for the last time, and she wasn't going to give him the opportunity to do so again.

Until then he'd taken it for granted that just like all the other girls he'd dealt with in the past, that Lois' well of second chances would never run dry. However, she'd swiftly disabused him of that misconception with just one word. No long explanations, no maudlin or theatrical speeches, just "no".

He felt dismayed at that, but quickly rallied hoping his next words and the sincerity in his voice would be enough for her to believe "I'm sure that people would make sure they got it right next time...hypothetically speaking of course".

Interpretation: _Ok, to hell with pride; I'm throwing myself on your mercy. If you give me another chance, I promise not to fuck it up next time. And btw; my tacked on 'hypothetically speaking' means that I'm trying to retain some dignity, and yes I know it hasn't worked._

She smiled, nodded and replied "My thoughts exactly."

Interpretation: _Prove it! And BTW: my thoughts exactly about the dignity bit too._

He knew that she didn't believe him, and couldn't blame her for that. He hadn't given her any reason to trust that he was genuine and not just toying with her affections. But her 'no' made him comprehend a truth that he should have appreciated all along. Lois wasn't a person you screwed around with. She wouldn't take the same garbage year on end that he and Lana dished back and forth to each other, and consider it romantic. He had three strikes against him, and now he was out.

If he wanted them to share anything more than a by-line, then HE was going to have to put himself out there because she was done doing so. He understood that it was now up to him. The pity was that she shouldn't have had to make that clear.

Considering how he'd felt when Lois was gone, and how grateful he'd felt when she returned, he shouldn't have been wasting time hiding behind double talk and innuendo, to safeguard his pride if she turned him down. All he'd accomplished in doing was giving Lois the impression that he wasn't interested in her so much, as in feeding his ego by engaging her interest once again, then letting her down once he'd gotten it and getting his jollies by continuing the pattern forevermore.

Since he couldn't tell her why he'd stood her up after luring her into saying yes, or how he'd known just what to say to get her interested in the first place without receiving a punch in the nose for his trouble, he determined to set things straight at the first available opportunity. He wanted another chance yes, but he also needed Lois to believe that he was genuine; that if she just opened her heart to him, he'd never again treat her callously; not in words or actions.

He knew the only way that she would believe he was sincere, was if he laid it on the line with no room for misinterpretation. So when she was reaming him out about his lack of attention while helping her audition for Good Morning Metropolis, he took the opportunity to make his intentions clear. Although he began by looking at her, in the end he couldn't quite garner the nerve to keep eye contact, but despite squiggling uncomfortably, he stiffened his backbone and told her honestly "Lois, I'm only doing this for you, how else am I going to get that second date?"

Interpretation: _I want you to believe that I'm not playing games Lois, and I'm not giving myself any room to manoeuvre just to save face. I'm leaving myself vulnerable and open to rejection by you. You've done so three times for me already, and now I'm doing it for you. Not only because you deserve it, but also because its way past time that I did._

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her small start of surprise that he'd manned up, and actually said out loud what he wanted, without the need for pretence or subterfuge.

But when she replied in a prompt, slightly smart aleckly manner "Well, you should have thought of that before you stood me up the first time", he frowned unsure if she was telling him yes, no, maybe or I'll think about it. He couldn't clarify her message, and felt perturbed.

Then Oliver laid his heart at her feet, and he thought that his chance with Lois was gone; that he was too late. But he took Chloe's advice, and once again manned up, and proved to her that he wanted there to be a THEM.

He felt Lois' shock when he pulled her to him and planted his lips on hers, then he felt her responding, then they were kissing each other, and then she was gone.

Well he'd laid it on the line, and now she was running. She didn't like games, they weren't her style, but neither was she used to him being so straightforward. He'd gone from being either blasé or awkward, to directly forceful and that threw her off stride. So this time he had to wait for her to be ready, but he didn't have to wait for long.

She could have kept him waiting for months, she could have danced around playing the coquette for years, but she didn't. He was lucky; soon afterwards she agreed to give a relationship between them a shot on the understanding they took their time. Since she was willing to meet him half way, he was only too happy to agree with her courting stipulations; resolutely determined to show her they could be good together.

They did indeed take their time building a solid relationship, bridging the gap from friends to sweethearts to couple. It took 4 months before they made the full transition from the first to the last, and it was a huge learning curve for both of them. As he and Lana were on like gangbusters before fizzling out soon afterwards every time they were together, he'd never had the occasion or the need to court a girl. Lois meanwhile had been courted by guys in the past, and then left high and dry once she was captivated. So he didn't want to rush only to scare her off, Lois wanted to go slow to ensure it was what they both wanted, and as neither wished their work or friendship to suffer, taking the time to lay a strong foundation first was time well spent, and all the more precious for that.

But making the change from friends to more wasn't as easy or smooth as he thought it was going to be for either of them. Prior to dating he'd caught Lois unawares and kissed her, then she returned the favour shortly afterwards and kissed him. However, when the concept of dating became a reality, spontaneity flew out the window, and bashfulness flew in.

Since he'd seen how effortlessly they'd gotten together while being trapped in Lois' memories of the future, he assumed the same would be true in the present. However, not only had those been unusual circumstances, she no longer remembered them. In that timeline, he'd lived for a year with the knowledge that he only realised he loved her after she disappeared; so for him having her back had been a miracle. Lois meanwhile had been dumped into a world that was out of control, ruled by alien tyrants who killed a person as easy as look at them. As a consequence, she had clung to him as tightly as he had clung to her.

However, in the present time, the spectre of death wasn't hanging like a sword of Damocles over their heads, and as such the early days of their romance were....awkward. He'd used up all his bravado proposing they should be a couple, and she used up all of hers dictating the many ways she expected him to romance her. He'd found out much later it was a test on her part to see if he was serious, or if he was going to take to his heels and run away once she said yes.

Initially they were like a couple of kids on one really long first date. He pecked her lips quickly in hello or goodbye, and Lois did the same in return. He clumsily hummed and hahed while making suggestions on what they should do, Lois looked like a startled owl in surprise then hesitantly smiled in agreement, then the two of them sat around for ten minutes saying 'I don't care you decide.' She stopped dropping by the farm unannounced, and when she did come at his invitation, they quickly pecked lips before retreating to the opposite sides of the room and smiling uneasily at each other. When they had a movie night, either he or she would shift or cough uncomfortably before reaching out to hold the others hand, and if they happened to fall asleep, waking up brought out even more gauche behaviour.

The only place they weren't uneasy with each other was at work. Lois was still feisty and determined, going after the story with gusto. While he tried to hold her in check sometimes, scrambled to keep up with her at others, and occasionally was three steps ahead.

Slowly they did become more comfortable until kissing no longer felt klutzy or weird, bumbling conversations became a thing of the past, and then they just meshed.

They'd been dating for 6 months when he told Lois that he loved her; the words had popped out unthinking and then just hung uncomfortably in the air between them. Until then he hadn't really appreciated that when you said 'I love you' to a girl for the first time, it was never just 'I love you' it was always 'I love you, do you love me too'. So when Lois just stared at him without speaking, he panicked and tried to quickly smooth over the situation.

"I was thinking we shoul...."

"Clark." Lois cut in softly.

He smiled and shrugged "Yeah."

"I'm sorry, but I can't say that back you." She reached out and picked up his hand "I do care about you, but I can't deny that I also have deep feelings for...."

"The Blur." He cut in grimly.

"Yes."

"I know that you talk to him, and although you won't tell me what you talk about, I guess I just assumed that your conversations weren't of a romantic nature." He knew they weren't but at the same time they were; and although he'd continued with the calls, he still couldn't help feeling hurt by her words

She sighed softly and shook her head, then shrugged undecided "They're not, but they are personal on occasion."

He nodded minutely in return "Does he feel romantic about you?"

"I don't know, but it's not him Clark, it's me." She squeezed his hand before letting go "I need to be sure that I'm ready to let go of him before..."

"Before deciding if you want me or not?" He snorted lightly "So what am I Lois; the booby prize?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She returned politely. At his flush, she inclined her head "I haven't until now, but maybe we both need to search our hearts to decide what or who we really want." When his mouth opened, she held up a hand "I'm honestly not having a go at you Clark; but can you say unequivocally that if Lana turned up, you wouldn't run back to her as you've always done?"

"Yes I can." He blew out a deep breath and nodded "I don't blame you for wondering since my track record proves me to be a liar in that respect, but she is in the past Lois, and I'm not just saying that because she's not here. If Lana came back, I'd tell her we were over, that I was now with you, and then I'd say goodbye."

Lois nodded slowly "Ok, so you know. But now I need to know that I'm not just with you, because I can't have him."

"I thought you already knew that."

"I thought so too but now I'm not so sure."

"So what are you saying?"

"I need time. Whether he wants me or not is immaterial, I need to know that I don't want him; do you understand?" She asked quietly.

He nodded softly in agreement "I want us to be together, but I don't want to be your consolation prize Lois. So take all the time you need, but this time be sure of who you really want, because I need to know as much as you do."

"I will; I am sorry Clark, I really didn't realise that he was still an issue until you said...." She trailed off uncomfortably, pecked his cheek and left with a last apologetic smile.

So they took a break, and the irony of the situation didn't escape him. The last time he thought that he was ready to let Lana go and move on with Lois, only to discover how wrong he was when his ex returned. This time Lois thought she was ready to get involved with him, but now that he'd put his feelings out there, she needed time to search her heart to find out who she really wanted to be with.

He'd momentarily thought about telling her he was the Blur but decided against it. He didn't want to tell her just to hold on to her. He wanted her to want the regular guy that she knew. So as hard as it was, he gave her time and space to decide if she wanted to be with him, or with the Blur.

Although they were taking a break, he still called her as the Blur but didn't try to confuse her with declarations of a romantic nature, and in turn she never said anything about her feelings. When Lois picked him over the Blur he felt relieved. The super guy had her admiration and her gratitude but not her heart, that she gave to Clark Kent. And when they got back together, they stayed together.

Their relationship taught them a lot about themselves and each other. Once they were back together there were no more doubts on either side. Lois learnt to trust, to believe that he was a stayer, and unlike her previous boyfriends, he wasn't going to walk away after winning her over. Consequently opening up became easier for her, and the need for hiding behind quips and banter became less. He in turn learnt that despite everything he'd thought in the past, Lana had never been good for him. Her personality poisoned his, bringing all the negative ones to fore and helping them to prosper. By contrast, Lois' maturity, directness and honesty helped him to be a better man, to stay on the straight and narrow.

They dated for 18 months and then it was time for him to go. He never told her about his heritage, never told her that he was the Blur, didn't even tell her that he was leaving to go and do his training. In their time together he deliberated once or twice whether to tell her or not, and in the end decided against it for a number of reasons. Since he'd always known that he'd have to leave one day, but didn't know how long it would be for, he didn't want her to waste her life waiting for him to come back. However, as he was going to lose her, he figured that a little selfishness on his part by holding onto her in the present when she could be building a relationship with someone else wasn't wrong.

He'd also promised himself that the next time he told her everything it would be for the right reasons. Not because she was pissed off, not to soothe his own conscience, or to impress her, but because it was time; and he wouldn't be taking it back.

Neither did he want her to feel that she wasn't enough for him. The last thing he'd wanted was for her to feel that she was holding him back in some way, and come up with some dumb reason for them to break up. Lois had enough steam, spirit and stamina that she couldn't do that on one of her bad days, but he wasn't going to give her the opportunity to worry or argue about it.

However, it hadn't been easy having a girlfriend who had a secret phone lover on the side; and even harder to not be jealous of himself. But since he'd decided against telling her, he also didn't have the right to be up in arms about her continued conversations with the Blur. Even after they got back together he never let it became a bone of contention between them, but did feel partly chagrined and party grateful when she refused to tell him what they talked about. As Clark he was miffed at her silence, as the Blur he was beholden. He finally shrugged and said that as long as they weren't making plans to elope then he was ok about it. When she teasingly replied that she had offered, but had been turned down, he'd known that she was lying so laughingly bared his teeth and that was the end of the matter.

The funny thing was; it was actually his love affair with Lois as his two personas that helped him to make the decision to go. He knew that to be the hero his father had sent him to Earth to be, the one she believed Clark Kent could be, and the one that she already considered the Blur to be, he had to sacrifice. And the sacrifice was Lois and their relationship.

He had to give her up, and the knowledge of what he was going to lose hurt unbearably. He was finally paying the price. Losing Lois, her love, her memories of them was going to cost him everything.

He used to talk big about Lana being his destiny, he'd behaved like a crazy obsessed Lana Lang groupie for years, but he'd always known that she wasn't the one; ALWAYS. He'd just refused to examine his heart any further than on the surface where youthful dreams resided because he'd wanted her.

Lois was different, she didn't come under the fickle and selfish banner of 'want'; she came under the heading of 'love'. He loved her and knowing that he had to leave, that he was going to lose everything they had come to be, slammed into him and almost drove him to his knees with the truth that he'd never stop loving her, NEVER!

His feelings for her had thrived the longer they were together. On the foundation of their relationship, he'd wanted to build a future that would last for the rest of their lives. But knew that he couldn't because one day he'd have to leave her behind to go and do his training; and that day had finally come. He had to turn away from her, before the temptation to stay made him too selfish to leave.

He wanted to laugh at that, but the situation wasn't funny. All the years he'd chased after Lana, all the times they were on again, off again, on again, off again, played house at the farm, he'd never once considered giving her up to go and do the training. At the time it was because all he'd wanted was a normal life. Unfortunately, the girl he'd wanted that normal life with was just as selfish as he used to be. He was grateful that in one of her rare moments of altruism, Lana went against her ingrained self-seeking nature, and performed one of the most decent acts of her life by walking away when he begged her to stay. If she hadn't, he would have squandered even more years at her feet being a dependant milksop, who only knew how to cry and plead not to be left alone and lonely.

More importantly he would missed out on sharing the past 18 months with Lois who gave him the strength to face each day, made him act like a man. She made him want to be a hero, a saviour. She enhanced his life, gave it meaning and a purpose, and her unbound faith in the Blur made him want to be selfless. Unfortunately, she was the price he had to pay to do it.

Knowing all that he was going to lose made leaving her all the harder, and all the more essential. He had to do his training; it wasn't something he couldn't continue to shuck off until the time was suitable for him; it would never be suitable. He'd already put it off for years with one paltry excuse after another, and now his time had run out.

If he didn't leave now, he never would. If he decided to forget about the training, and stay to set up house with Lois, he knew that she wouldn't thank him for it if he told her what he'd done. Duty and honour were ingrained in her, they came before love, before want, and her disappointment in him would eventually tear them apart. He didn't want to lose her, but if he stayed then he'd lose her anyway.

Apart from that, he wanted to do the training for two reasons. The first was so that he could learn how to utilise his powers in the most constructive way to help others. The second was so that once it was done, he could return to take up his life, and never have to leave again.

Being the Blur had given him some idea of his responsibilities and duty to the human race, and it also gave him the knowledge of what he wanted in exchange.

As the Blur he speedily zipped in and saved people then just as quickly zipped away again so that no one saw him. However, when his training was over he wanted to return to civilisation and once again take up his duties, but without the necessity of hiding in the shadows. He wanted to come out of the dark and into the light. He wanted a life unified but separate from the Blur; so that he could help openly when required, but still retain his anonymity as Clark Kent. And he wanted to do it without the necessity of wearing a mask, or covering his face in any way.

He had powers and abilities far above ordinary man, and it was for that very reason he wanted to keep his face open to scrutiny. He didn't want people to be afraid of him, to wonder if the masked man who was helping would one day turn on them with his abilities, while safely keeping his identity hidden. But unless his training took a hundred years or more, until everyone who'd been familiar with his face was long dead by the time he returned, his only recourse was to ensure that people wouldn't recognise him; and the only way to do that, was by using the legion ring and going back in time to when he was a boy, and then leaving Smallville. He knew that by doing so he would effectively be wiping out all the years, and everything he'd accomplished, but it was the only way he could acquire the security of anonymity.

When he had to pick a time in his past to go back to, he chose the day after his father's funeral. He didn't want to leave before then because he wanted to be around as long as his dad had been alive. He didn't even consider trying to go back to save his father, the last time he'd tried to make things better by messing around with time, he'd only managed to make things worse. But as he was already losing Lois, he didn't want to lose any of the time he'd spent with his dad before he passed away.

So in the end it turned out that not telling Lois was the right decision; if he'd done so he would now be taking it all back from her again. As he didn't have the luxury of picking and choosing who'd remember and who wouldn't, it had to be a clean sweep, the past few years of his life wiped out as if it never happened. His face was familiar to scores of people; he could probably fool some but not all, so he had to do it.

It seemed that everything was coming full circle, just as he'd decided to leave; Lex Luthor chose to reappear in Metropolis as if he'd never left. He'd thought the man was dead so he was safe, but now knew that he'd been wrong. The pleased smiles Lex had thrown at him at the news conference to tell the world he was back and taking up the reins at LuthorCorp once again, told him that it was only a matter of time before all out war was declared. He had no doubt that Lex had only come out of hiding when he was ready to do so, which spelt trouble. Lex knew about him, which meant that he had plans and Clark Kent was going to be a major player in those plans.

Two days later he arrived home after being out on Blur duty when his phone rang. That Lex was back was big news, that he hadn't heard from Lana was worrying. He'd left her messages, had tried to find her all without success. When he picked up the phone he found out why.

"Hello."

"Well hello Clark, it's your old friend Lex."

"What'd you want?"

"I just thought you'd like the scoop on a story."

All his senses went on alert; whatever Lex had to say wasn't going to be good. He wanted to put the phone down but knew that would be beyond foolish "What story."

"Well it was something about a girl who was in Africa. Apparently she was a tourist over there and died quite horrifically about a week ago. It's quite awful when you think of the things that can happen to a person in a country that's run amuck with wild animals."

He felt his gut twist in fear because he knew exactly who Lex was talking about "What girl?"

"You're the reporter, you find out. But I'll give you a little hint; I believe you should look in the region of Gabon, in the area of a little place called Oyem."

He did, and it didn't take him long to find Lana's body. Super powers hadn't helped her in the slightest. He received Lex's message loud and clear; you're next. When he came back, he went straight to Lex's apartment, but had no sooner been shown into the office when he was knocked to the floor by Kryptonite.

"I guess that I do have a sixth sense after all, but instead of seeing dead people, I just knew that Clark Kent would be knocking on my door poste haste." Lex smirked then swept out his hand "Do you like the little green paperweight on my desk? I had it crafted specially into the shape of a phoenix. Y'know the mythical bird who rises from the ashes; I like to think that I take after it. And it is prettier than just having a rock sitting on my desk, that would just ruin the whole ambiance of my office don't you think?"

"You must have known Lana had powers; there was no way you could have taken her unawares." He gritted both in fury and pain.

"Of course." Lex replied readily "Did you really think that I wouldn't keep an eye on my two favourite people; that I wouldn't make it my business to know everything about them, and more importantly just what it would take to neutralise them." Lex plucked a cigar from the box on his desk, lit it and then shook his head slowly "You underestimate me Clark, but then you always did. Poor Lana, to her infinite regret, she underestimated me too." He smiled but his eyes stayed cold "I already knew what your Achilles heel was, you know that by the little gift I left the two of you a couple of years ago. So once I found out about Lana's powers, well it was really just a matter of finding out what her weakness was, and then using it so that I could take care of her."

He clenched his jaw but refused to speak and soon found he didn't need to say anything when Lex continued.

"How many times did you pathetically beg Lana to take you back Clark; beg her not to leave you, beg her to love you, beg her for anything really?" When he didn't answer, Lex came over, crouched down and spoke softly "I'm guessing that you never heard her pleading with you for anything. Well guess what; she begged me." His lips lifted at the corners and his voice became softer "She begged for her life until she had no more voice to beg anymore."

"You bastard." Clark croaked out. God he hated to think of how scared she must have been.

"Now, now, now; you don't want to upset me." He taunted lightly.

Clark tried to reach out but ended by screaming in pain.

"Oh did I forget to tell you, I had a ring made too." Lex waved his hand in Clark's face causing him to curl up in agony "Yes it is quite beautiful, but it's not an emerald so I don't know why you'd gasp in pleasure at the sight. However, it does make a statement don't you think?"

When he didn't respond, Lex shrugged "Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh that's right; you shouldn't worry about Lana, her times over and she's done. You should start worrying about yourself." Standing up again, Lex strolled back to his desk and sat "The plans I have for you aren't quite in the same line, but they should make things interesting. Your time is coming Clark, and all the powers in the world won't help you, anymore than they helped the little tramp that I've already disposed off."

His head tilted slightly and his voice became mocking "Do you know how I lured Lana out there? It was really very easy. I called her through a voice synthesiser so she thought I was you. Then it was a simple matter of giving her a weepy little spiel about how much I missed her, and blah, blah, blah. You should have heard her almost squeal in joy when I gave her the glorious news that I'd spent every spare moment looking for a solution to our little problem so that we could be together again, and finally found it. In Africa of all places....." Lex let out a shout of laughter "....my god she was as stupid bitch."

Clark's jaw clenched tighter but he refused to comment.

Lex shook his head in sorrow "And she came running, the same way you went running to find her when I called you. The two of you are so predictable, that it's really quite sad and pitiful."

He dragged himself to the far side of the room, then used the wall to get to his feet before looking at the man he used to call friend "You couldn't take us down in a fair fight, so you had to find a way to get rid of the powers first; it's the only way you could have killed her."

"A fair fight; well correct me if I'm wrong but on two separate occasions you and Lana did try to kill me, and I'm guessing you both had powers at the time. In which case I'd say that we're all dirty fighters wouldn't you?" Lex asked conversationally, before sitting back and stretching lazily "However, take away the powers, and you're _nothing_; neither was Lana. But I don't need super-powers to defeat you Clark, just guile and I have plenty of that; I guess you could say that I have a super-abundance of that." He grinned big and wide then shook his head lightly in reproof "You and Lana picked the wrong person to play your infantile games with. Obviously you were under the mistaken impression that just like all the other people the two of you had crapped all over, that I too would just shrug my shoulders, say all is forgiven or run away like a whipped dog. That however, was your mistake, not mine. I don't forget anything, much less betrayal Clark. Lana learnt that lesson the hard way, and you will too."

"We..."

"Whatever you're going to say, don't!" Lex cut in with a heavy sigh "I'll tell you right now that my tolerance level for listening to you pontificate, and Lana moan has dropped significantly since our last meeting. So don't waste time playing the injured innocent because it bores me. Lana also found that out very quickly, so I suggest you follow her example and spare yourself the effort."

He grasped the door handle and began to open the door, when Lex called out casually "By the way, how's the Blurry business going for you?"

He swung around to find Lex's eyebrows arched high "I..."

"I find it fascinating that you rush around helping people but never let them see who you are. I suppose it's understandable, after all you know what people are like. They might be thankful now, but how grateful will they be when they discover there's an alien freak living among them. Maybe you just need the right PR to break the news, I'll think on how it should be handled, and get back to you." Lex informed him cheerfully "Oh and by the way Clark, my little phoenix and the ring is only part of a vast collection, so you might want to keep that in mind for future reference."

He left without replying, and knew it was only a matter of time before Lex made good on his threats. The man had no reason to safeguard Clark Kent's privacy, so his plans were either to keep the knowledge of what he knew to himself, and use it for his own benefit or expose his secret to the world. If he chose the first option then after his usefulness ran out, Lex would kill him. If he chose the second, then Lex wouldn't just expose his secret, he'd also spill the beans about Kryptonite, and directly afterwards every criminal would be heading to Smallville to dig the stuff up.

He didn't tell anyone about Lana or his conversation with Lex. Since he was leaving anyway, he saw no point in getting everyone worked up for nothing, but it wasn't easy pretending that all was in hand when they called to ask how he was handling Lex being back.

Lex was evil there was no doubt about that, but Clark also knew the man was right. He and Lana had betrayed him, had tried to kill him and Lex wasn't the forgiving kind. It didn't help that they'd kept up the accusations both privately and publicly of Lex's duplicity, while continuing to paint him as the only villain of the piece. Once upon a time he'd been so self deluded that he believed Lex was the only bad guy in the equation, but no more. Clark was well aware that he and Lana had caused plenty of damage both during and after her marriage, to give Lex ample reasons for wanting revenge on them. It was a hard truth to face, but easier than having to accept an even worse truth. Lex hadn't been an innocent in that whole sorry mess, anymore than they had been. But just as he and Lana had only been interested in their side of the story; Lex was likewise only interested in his. Just as they had taken on the role of victim in their heads, Lex saw himself as the victim too. None of them had been victims, they were all guilty. But where he and Lana had lived without condemnation, Lex hadn't; and now he wanted payback.

Clark had seen it in the man's eyes, heard it in his voice, and Lana was all the proof he needed. Lex was going to get payback if he had to die in the attempt. He was under no illusions that if Lex had the ammunition, he wouldn't hesitate to point the gun and pull the trigger, taking out innocents Clark loved, in a bid to taking him down; and Lex had all the ammunition he needed. The man could toy with his life for years, playing games about whether to kill him slowly or quickly with Kryptonite, or control him through those he loved; either way Lex would win. If he was dead then Lex would have free reign to do as he wanted, if he stayed he'd be under Lex's thumb.

It humbled him to know that he'd brought this on himself. All his life he'd openly talked about right and wrong, but hadn't lived up to his own preaching. He knew very well that when it came to Lana he'd done plenty of wrong to hold onto her. He'd thrown his values and principles out the window when they clashed with his desires, or her ethics. He'd coveted normality so badly that he'd hurt people just to hold onto Lana in order to get it. And although Lex was only one of those people, he was the one to be feared.

So going back and undoing everything was no longer a choice for anonymity's sake, it was now his only option. Back then Lex didn't have any reason to actively despise him, they were on the outs but the hostility between them wasn't full blown. That wasn't true in the present time, the enmity that existed would only conclude with one of their deaths. The world might be a better place without Lex, but killing him wasn't something that Clark was prepared to do. However, he knew that Lex wouldn't be so generous towards him. But it was the people that Lex would kill to get to him, and the power Lex could wield without opposition after disposing of him that was the real fear.

His period of grace was fast running out. Lex had warned him a week ago that his time was coming, and he wouldn't be content to hold off forever. Lex would act soon, so he had to leave now. He'd been planning to go after Lois' birthday in three weeks time, but could no longer afford to wait that long. Still he wanted one last weekend with Lois when they didn't have work, and deadlines, and bosses yelling at them; just two days when they could have fun together without work cutting in on their time. The days leading up to his departure were hard and he was miserable. But when Lois looked at him questioningly, asked him what was up, he realised that his mood was bringing hers down, and as the coming weekend was their last, resolved to stop.

He didn't want Lois to spend their last few days together worried that he was unhappy with their relationship, or uncertain of his feelings. So he locked away everything, and played the part for her; ensuring they had a good time, with no mournful asides.

On the Sunday night, he pressed his lips to the top of her head, hugged her tight then let go and took a step back. She smiled, reached up to peck his cheek and opened her apartment door, reminding him that she'd be by to pick him up in the morning for work, with the cheeky admonition not to keep her waiting.

The smile on her face, the sparkle in her eyes was nearly his undoing. He watched silently as she stepped into the apartment, and began to close the door.

"LOIS!"

She swung around so quickly, he had to grab hold to steady her.

"What! What is it! What's wrong?" Her head swivelled back and forth, her hand was pressed against her heat, but at his silence she growled slowly "Clark, did you want something, or were you just trying to give me a heart attack?"

This was it. He wanted to say something monumental, but couldn't think of anything. His mind was blank, and his throat blocked.

Shrugging uncomfortably, he sent her a weak smile "Good night."

"That's what you wanted to say?"

He swallowed hard and nodded "Yeah."

Her eyes rolled heavenward "Good grief, you yelled my name so loudly I thought there was an axe murderer behind me."

"Hum."

"Is 'hum' code word for something?" She asked politely, but her lips twitched in betrayal.

He nodded uncomfortably "I love you."

She giggled lightly, and she shook her head "You'll never stop being a weirdo Clark Kent." At her words, he felt his smile grow. Stepping forward, she pecked his cheek once more "I love you too; good night." And closing the door she was gone.

That night he stood outside Lois' apartment for hours just watching her sleep. In the early hours of the morning, he wished her a silent goodbye, and promised that he would come back to her one day. Then he sped home, grabbed the bag he'd already packed, used the legion ring to go back in time, and then left Smallville to do his training.

It took 10 years; ten long years for him to learn everything Jor-el had to teach him, and then he came back to the world he'd left behind.

He applied for a job at the Daily Planet, and became Clark Kent Journalist. When Lois first saw him she didn't even recognise him, and he had to nudge her a little before the penny dropped. Even though he knew what to expect, coming face to face with her again, but seeing no recollection in her eyes of their past romantic relationship hurt. It was safer for him, but it hurt like hell.

The same day he joined the Planet, he also made his first appearance in his new persona, and once again Lois fell for him. But instead of calling him the Blur, this time she named him Superman.

Being away from Lois for 10 years had been unbearable. He'd managed to push her out of his mind and focus on his training, but when he slept she was there in his dreams. Even though it was his decision to wipe out their past, coming back and seeing nothing in her eyes but faint memories of a boy she tolerated many years ago, and indifference to a work colleague that she didn't want, who she felt had been foisted onto her, was a bitter pill to swallow.

Opening his eyes, he looked around his apartment and smiled sadly. The only Clark Kent people now remembered was the boy who'd left Smallville after his father's funeral at 18, and didn't come back until he was 28. He knew that losing Lois' love was the price he had to pay but hadn't comprehended just how hard it was going to be.

In the back of his mind he'd hoped that the spark they'd had before would ignite once again. Well the spark was there alright, but not in the way he'd imagined. For him it was directed at Lois, for her it was all directed at Superman. But at least the situation wasn't all bad there was some good, for which he was thankful.

Once again he went through the mental list he kept in his head, reciting them one by one:

Positive: Lex didn't know he was Superman. Clark Kent was someone he'd known a long time ago, and not someone he cared to know in the present; but neither was he a person that Lex wanted dead. So Lois and anyone else he loved were safe from any vendettas against him.

Negative; last time it had taken years for him and Lois to be on the same page romantically, and that was only after they'd gotten to know each other and became friends.

Positive; this time their friendship was still fairly new, but it was firm and growing stronger ever day.

Positive; their past relationship had given him insight into how Lois' mind worked; how she thought and felt, which was a big tick in his favour.

Positive; although Lana was alive, they didn't have all the baggage of his past relationship with her thrown in their path, since it had mostly been wiped out.

Positive; he knew what he wanted up front, with no hesitation or second guessing involved. So didn't need to waste time with sophisticated war of the sex games while deliberating if he wanted a relationship with Lois or not; he knew that he did.

Negative; Lois was infatuated with Superman, which did his Clark side no favours.

Positive; last time she was infatuated with the Blur, but it was Clark that she'd come to love.

They had more positives on their side than negatives, and he had to keep reminding himself of that with each step backward.

It had taken time, but over the past six months he'd slowly managed to win Lois back as a friend, and now she considered him her best friend; the one she confided her feelings for Superman to. At first it had been exhilarating and exciting, now it was disheartening. Depending on his persona he was treated to two different sides of Lois. As Superman he was on a pedestal; he got the adoration, the fawning and the flattery. As Clark, he had feet of clay like everyone else. He made mistakes, he was clumsy, and awkward; he was her buddy, her pal. One the one hand it was frustrating, on the other it kept him grounded.

But it wasn't easy being the only person who remembered everything now. There were times when he wanted to tell Lois everything, just blurt it all out, but knew that he couldn't no matter how tempting the prospect was. He had to take his time and win her heart all over again.

He'd hoped that tonight's casual invitation for coffee would help him to start breaking down the walls between Clark and Superman in her eyes. If she just gave him a chance he knew that he could get her to see that the man in front of her, the one she worked with and called friend, was also the man she undoubtedly dreamt about.

The last time he hadn't joined Lois for coffee because he'd been too afraid to take that first step forward; but knew that wasn't her excuse for not coming tonight. He just wasn't on her radar as a prospective suitor. He'd now give anything to go back in time and keep their coffee date. All the times he'd let Lois down, swept her aside, or just didn't have time for her haunted him now when he wanted her to notice him, wanted her love.

In the last timeline when Lois went missing for 3 weeks it had felt like an eternity to him, but when he was trapped in her memories of the future, he'd learnt what it felt like to believe that she'd been dead for a year before finding her alive. That experience made him realise that his love for Lois was eternal, and his former feelings for Lana so paltry in comparison. Despite all his pleading for her not to leave, when she did, he'd cried and then got on with his life. However, when Lois was gone he'd never gotten over the loss. He'd felt dead inside the whole time she was missing, and only began to live when he found her again.

When he woke up those memories, those feelings were still inside him. That was the first time he really understood that love wasn't a game, and it gave him the boldness to tell Lois that he didn't want to lose her. He knew then, as he knew now that distance, time, whether she was with him or not made no difference; she was 'the one' and he couldn't do without her.

For now he was her friend, and Superman was her love. But just as he hadn't been content with only half her heart when she was crushing on the Blur, he wouldn't settle for anything less now.

Little did he realise back then that Lois' feelings for the Blur, were only a precursor to those she'd have for Superman now. He was her hero, and she his champion; and Clark Kent was once again waiting in the wings for Lois Lane see past the super-guy to the normal one that loved her.

Well the last time she had come to love him as Clark, and when he'd left he'd promised himself that despite all obstacles, he'd win her love back. So although her love for Superman was nice, it wasn't enough.

He needed her to love him as Clark, and no matter what it took he'd succeeded because failure wasn't an option. Lois Lane would be his, her heart would once again belong to him as surely as his already belonged to her, and this time it would be for keeps.


	2. Chapter 2

Firstly, thank you to Ice Queen for her kind words and feedback, it's very much appreciated. Secondly, I apologise for taking so long to update this fic, but as I only write on the weekends, and have 3 active stories at present, it takes me that much longer to write anything. Anyway, after the long wait, I hope everyone likes the update.

Linda

**

**Chapter 2**

Taking a quick look at his watch, Clark pursed his lips and considered. It was just shy of 8pm, so it wasn't late. He could fly by Lois' place and just check to see if she was there. If not then more than likely she hadn't met him for coffee because she got tied up at work.

Standing quickly he spun into the suit, flew out the window and was soon floating outside her apartment. She was there, and she looked pretty comfortable. It was obvious that she hadn't just gotten home, which meant that she hadn't met him because...oh hell; who was he kidding. He'd known all along that work wasn't the reason Lois hadn't come, he'd just been grasping at straws in the faint hope that he could soothe his ego by giving her an excuse for the no show.

Looking at the open window which he knew was an invitation to Superman, his lips twisted indecisively. He wanted her to look past the superhero and see the ordinary man, but since she wasn't inclined to do that at the moment, then surely it wouldn't hurt to just stop in and see her now. At least that would still keep her focused on him either way, and tomorrow he could begin the 'getting Lois Lane to fall in love with Clark Kent' project rolling once more. Scoffing at himself for his weakness, he floated closer and called out casually, "Hello Lois."

He saw the small start she gave at the sound of his voice, saw her head swivel quickly towards the window, and then watched as the smile bloomed on her face "Superman, hi." She jumped to her feet, lifted a hand to her hair, looked down and grimaced lightly "Come in."

Floating forwards he came to a stop in front of her, and noted that both her body temperature and heart rate rose slightly in accord. She looked so charmingly messy and delightful, the flush of colour on her cheeks sweet. Wishing that the look in her eyes directed at him currently, was the kind she sported when he wasn't in the red and blue suit, he let out a small silent sigh.

"What are you doing here?"

"I just came to see if you were alright after today's little incident."

At his words she grinned and waved a hand airily "That was nothing, I've kind of gotten used to people trying to kill me."

His lips twitched as he nodded slowly in return.

"Thanks for being there today."

I'm always there for you Lois, you just don't know it, he mentally replied before responding with a quick smile "Oh it was nothing, I've kind of gotten used to being around when people try to kill you."

Her gurgle of laughter was adorable, the way she lifted her hand to her mouth was cute; she was cute and adorable, but her words "Yeah, it does seem to be our thing." made his heart ache.

She and Superman had a thing. According to the thesaurus _thing_ meant something felt, seen or perceived. She and Clark had _nothing_ which meant emptiness, non-existence, zero; what a come down. Unable to respond, he just nodded minutely once again.

"It was nice of you to come and check on me though." Lois told him softly.

"Well I was in the neighbourhood" he shrugged casually, thanking god a voice didn't proclaim loudly from the heavens 'Superman flew into the neighbourhood just to see you Lois' or even worse 'If you were on the Starship Enterprise, Superman would find a reason to be travelling around the galaxy in a tin can too Lois.' He couldn't understand how on earth she missed the 'take me, I'm yours' neon sign that must be flashing above his head.

Wanting to stay so that she'd continue looking at him the way she was now, wanting to go so that he could come back as Clark and get her to focus on HIM, he thumbed over his shoulder at the window "Well I'd better..."

And then she made it harder to leave with her garbled, inarticulate speech about food or the lack thereof, and booze the abundance of which she had, all of which made her completely darling. Although her eyes showed discomfiture at her words, her mouth continued to run on even though he could clearly see the struggle on her face to keep quiet. Biting the inside of his cheek to keep the laugh in check, he likewise stopped himself from reaching out to touch her cheek, and finally taking pity on her stopped the flow of words by shaking his head and cutting in gently "Thank you Lois, but I can't stay. I just stopped by to ensure that you were alright."

"Oh...so you have to go?"

"Yes."

"Oh." He heard the disappointment in her voice, and at her "Well thanks for stopping by" He inclined his head, floated up and out the window, then turned back and smiled "Good night Lois."

"Good night Superman."

With a last small smile, he swept up high into the sky, came to a halt and floated.

Giving into the laughter that he'd valiantly held back the longer Lois' rambling and incoherent speech had gone on, Clark shook his head. How could he not love her? Her manner with Superman was a combination of the Lois he'd glimpsed when she'd crushed on the Blur; infatuated devotee, and sweet confident woman, and the Lois he was subjected to when they first began dating; awkward, uncomfortable and breezy with a dash of nervous thrown in for good measure.

He'd give everything he owned and more for Lois to feel about Clark Kent the way she presently did about Superman. She had no idea just how hard it was for him as Superman not to step forward and press his lips to hers, not to take her in his arms, not to fly away with her and to just keep flying until he found somewhere they could be alone. Her feelings for his super persona was so openly displayed on her face, in her eyes, in the tone of her voice that it was getting harder all the time to not to give in and just take what he could get.

He knew that as Superman he'd betrayed his feelings to her once or twice in the past, and was aware that was just one of the many reasons Lois was still infatuated with the superhero. On those occasions his desire to be with her overrode his usual reserve, and it was only when her eyes widened and the breath caught in her throat at his manner, that he'd realise what he was doing, and give himself a strong mental shake to be more prudent in future. After that he'd pretend he'd done nothing to show Lois that Superman considered her anything more than a friend, and unfortunately he'd then go to the extra mile and take it too far in the opposite direction. Instead of just being friendly to her as Superman, he'd keep his distance, hold her at arm's length and be scrupulously polite, but at the hurt on her face, his stomach would flip, his resolve would falter, and invariably he'd make it up to her in some way.

Logically he knew that he'd done himself no favours by using her crush on Superman to hold onto her while striving to win her love as Clark, but couldn't decided if that was a good thing or not. On the one hand it had kept her from forming any romantic attachments with other men, on the other his ordinary side was in competition with his super side for her affections, and he'd put himself square in the middle of a lose/lose situation.

He loved her, as Clark, as Superman it made no difference what guise he was wearing, he was still the same man, and in either persona he just couldn't bring himself to stay away from her. Nodding internally he decided that being a rival for her affections as his two selves, was much better than shunning her as Superman only to watch as another man waltzed off with her before he managed to capture her heart as Clark.

Of course when that happened he'd have a whole new set of problems. He'd told Lois that Superman didn't lie, well that was a huge lie on its own. He had to deceive people just to ensure that he got privacy as Clark Kent. He'd learnt long ago how to prevaricate, how to jumble the truth to his advantage without hurting others, but couldn't stop the small chuckle in remembrance of Lois' painstaking lesson to Superman on the art of lying and how crucial it could be. Hopefully one day when it was the right time and he told her everything, she'd understand that he only ever lied out of necessity, but never to hurt.

Blowing out a deep breath, he scanned the alley behind her apartment block and finding it empty, zipped down behind a dumpster, spun into his street clothes and made his way to her apartment.

After knocking on the door, Clark waited patiently, and a moment later the door opened. At her smile, he smiled in return, and pushed aside the disappointment he felt that Lois' smile of welcome while nice, wasn't the same kind that she'd worn when he'd appeared at her window less than half an hour previously.

***

_30 minutes before_

"Hello Lois."

At the sound of his voice Lois swung her eyes from the TV screen to the window, and felt her heart leap "Superman, hi." Jumping up nervously, she silently wished that her hair wasn't bunched up on top of her head in a slip shod fashion, restrained her eyes from rolling at the jeans and t-shirt she was wearing, then looked back up and smiled "Come in."

Every single time he was close she felt the heat rise in her body. He was far from the first man that she'd desired, but he was the first one that she'd felt such an all consuming want for. If she didn't know it was him that was causing this reaction, she'd start to wonder if she wasn't sickening for something. Shaking it off, she cocked her head "What are you doing here?"

"I just came to see if you were alright after today's little incident."

Grinning she waved hand around breezily "That was nothing; I've kind of gotten used to people trying to kill me."

His lips twitched as he nodded slowly in return.

God he was so nice, so gorgeous, so everything. "Thanks for being there today." She told him softly with a quiet smile of gratitude.

"Oh it was nothing, I've kind of gotten used to being around when people try to kill you." He replied with a quick smile.

She gurgled out a laugh in surprise "Yeah, it does seem to be our thing." Sitting nervously on the edge of the couch, she tilted her head and smiled again "It was nice of you to come and check on me though."

"Well I was in the neighbourhood."

She nodded, and furiously tried to think of something witty to say but came up blank. Every time he was around all she could think about was how special he made her feel.

"Well I'd better..." He thumbed over his shoulder towards the window.

Not wanting him to leave, Lois quickly got to her feet and began to speak "Would you like something to eat....or drink, I've got plenty of foo....." She broke off and coughed "...well actually I don't have plenty of food, but I've got some microwave popcorn that I can make up. Plus it won't take me long to order a pizza or something, that's if you like pizza but if you don't I can get something else and in the meantime we can listen to some nice soft music and have a drink." Her eyes widened in mortification, and quickly rushing on she tried to make things better and cursed herself when her wretched tongue just made things worse "I don't mean that the way it sounds, I've never even thought about seducing you except in my fantas..." She winced, blushed and plowed on "What I'm trying to say is that alcohol is soothing and that's something I do have plenty off...." She coughed and tried again "...not that I need booze to calm my nerves or anything, but a drink doesn't hurt so...." Shut up, shut up, shut upppppp Lois, instead of listening to her head, her tongue ran on ".....so why don't we just....."

"Thank you Lois, but I can't stay. I just wanted to stop by and ensure that you were alright." He cut into her monologue gently.

Letting out a deep breath, she thanked him silently for the rescue and suppressed the feeling of deflation at his departure "Oh...so you have to go?"

"Yes."

"Oh." She smiled gamely and shrugged "Well thanks for stopping by."

He nodded once more, floated outside then turned around and smiled "Good night Lois."

"Good night Superman." He zipped off and she was left staring at empty space.

Closing her eyes, she cursed herself for acting like an adolescent school girl every time he was around. How was he supposed to think she was anything but an idiot, when he had to save her every other day, and couldn't even hold an intelligent conversation?

"Oh Superman I've got plenty of food, well no I don't but I do have a fully stocked bar. Ha, ha not that I'm an alcoholic or anything, I only want to get you smashed so that I can jump your bones when you're too drunk to fight me off...." She mimicked mocking herself "God Lois, could you have sounded any more stupid if you'd tried?"

Flopping down on the couch, she groaned in both mortification and disappointment. She wanted Superman to see that she could be an asset to him, and instead she daily proved to him that she needed help just to cross the street. She wanted superman to think she was beautiful, to find her fascinating, to realise that he loved her. Instead he turns up and finds her looking like she was all dressed up to go bowling, her conversation so fascinating that he must thinks she's a nymphomaniacal dimwit, and as for love, hah; she could only be so lucky.

Six months ago she'd been an intelligent, adroit, confident woman who didn't care a damn what anyone thought of her. As men were low on her priority scale, she didn't care if one was interested in her or not since she found her work was far more fascinating than the male of the species. As a result holding a conversation with a good looking man without fawning and giggling was easy. Then Superman arrived and suddenly she was as gauche as a 13 year old girl, who hoped to catch the eye of the cute boy in school.

Even as a kid she'd never been inept when it came to boys. Being surrounded by army guys from the time she was a child had made teenage boys look so graceless in comparison, that handling them had been a piece of cake. Boys hadn't been a mystery to her. They'd been interesting, exciting and attractive but not even close to being an enigma. As she'd gotten older the true was same of men, but with Superman the rules were all new. It seemed that no one could escape the awkward teen years, not even Lois Lane. She was 29 years old and around Superman she felt clumsy, aroused and thrilled all at the same time.

She'd never considered dolling up when she was at home on the off chance the man of her dreams would turn up unexpectedly, yet that thought had crossed her mind tonight. Thank god she hadn't lost all reason and was still the best at her job. Being a reporter was the one area of her life that she'd never doubted herself in and that hadn't changed, even with the arrival of Super-centrefold.

The first time he'd come to her apartment a few days after making his grand entrance in the world, she'd been trying to write an article about him without success. When she heard his voice, she'd known who it was before turning around him. Yeah ok, so the voice was coming from the window and she was several flights up from street level, but still. Flinging her arm over her eyes, Lois' lips curved as her mind drifted back to that night.

She felt frustrated as hell, Perry was on the warpath insisting the Planet had to be the paper to get the exclusive story on Superman, and although she concurred with the basic principle, she didn't think the story should be up for grabs. It was her who'd met the newest super-hero first, her who'd named him Superman, and her who'd written the story about the way he'd stopped the space shuttle from blowing up before giving it a lift into space. Granted her article didn't have many details about him, she didn't have many to put in, but that was beside the point. Superman was hers.

Unfortunately Perry didn't see it that way. As far as he was concerned, Superman was big news, so the rules were off. The exclusive was wide open to anyone who could get it, so of course every man and his dog was after it.

As she had no say so in the matter, and couldn't gainsay her editor, she decided right then that she wasn't going to be beaten. Superman was hers, and she was going to write the story. Unhappily she didn't know how to find him, had next to no information on him, and although she was quite happy to write about his physical attributes, she had a feeling that her boss wouldn't appreciate an article that only waxed poetic about what a fine example of a man that Superman was. Ok, so she wouldn't be happy with that either. She could devote all her sleep time to dreaming about the man, but right now she wanted to be the reporter who reeled in the biggest story of year. Sitting back against the couch, she sighed, groaned and sighed once more.

"I hear you've been looking for me."

"All my life" Lois whispered in return, taking a moment to compose herself before turning around. He looked just as good, no he looked even better than the first time she'd seen him. At the time she'd been too shocked to appreciate the magnitude of the man, but that was two days ago and she'd had time to settle down since then. At least she thought she had, but seeing him floating outside her window caused her heart to leap, and the flush to sweep through her body.

"Hi."

"Hello."

She knew that she was staring like a love struck kid but couldn't stop.

"Lois...."

Her name on his lips made her want to swoon.

"Lois..."

"Hmmm" Shaking her head, she sent him a small embarrassed smile "I'm sorry; um....please come in." He did and the breath caught in her throat at his nearness "You know my name."

"Doesn't everyone know the name of the Daily Planet's top reporter?" He asked rhetorically with a small smile.

That's what she considered herself, that's what she called herself, and that's what others called her, but that was different. Hearing him say it made her feel bashful "What's your name?"

"Superman seems to have caught on."

Giggling lightly in relief that he wasn't offended by the name she'd given him, she figured it couldn't hurt to push her luck and ask "Where are you from?"

"I'm from another planet, a place called Krypton."

He was an alien...an actual alien! Ok, Lois don't blow this. Stop acting like a love struck adolescent, and be the top notch reporter this city already knows that you are. After the silent little pep-talk, she asked "Do you mind if I interview you?" At his headshake, she sat down, waved him to take a seat and picked up a pad and pencil.

Giving him a good once over, her eyes swept up and down, she licked her lips and her mouth which had the tendency to speak without forethought opened "You seem to have all the...the parts of a man."

He looked her straight in the eye and replied "I am a man Lois, just like you're a woman."

Swallowing hard at the intoxicating thought, she pushed it aside and began to write while muttering out loud "Ok, so Cripton; Cri...."

"Um no..." At the interruption, her eyes rose in confusion "It's actually spelt with a K...Krypton." Superman corrected politely.

"Oh sorry..." Quickly correcting her spelling, she looked up again "Why are you here....on Earth I mean?"

"To help." He replied genially.

To help; ok well that was a complete non starter. He was gorgeous, he was fantastic, he was her every fantasy brought to life, but he didn't know squat about the newspaper game. Figuring that since he was alien, he might need a few pointers she kindly advised "I need more of a quote. You know; like, 'I have not yet begun to fight' or 'Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead'. If you said you were here to fight for truth or justice or the American way, something like it, then it'd be a quote."

His lips curved slowly causing her stomach to somersault, but his reply "Can I get back to you?" left a lot to be desired.

Ok, he seriously needed a lesson on how the world worked "I'm a reporter; I have deadlines, I also have an editor. Don't you have newspapers on Krypton?"

"Probably not like yours."

"Yeah well nobody has an editor like mine. If you're here to help, this would be a good place to start."

He'd nodded, thought about it for a moment and replied "Truth and justice sound good, you can use that."

"Ok." She began to take notes, asking question after question. Thank goodness her brain was professional enough to stay on track, think clearly and get the story, because her heart insisted on dancing a jig just by his presence. Some questions he answered swiftly, others more slowly as he thought about it, and the way his bottom lip pouched out in deliberation was so cute that she was hard pressed not to give into the 'aww' of the moment.

However, when she laughingly made a comment to one of his, the look on his face at her amusement gave her pause "You don't lie." She asked doubtfully.

"No."

"So what's your secret, how do you not lie?"

"It's not that hard."

"Bull! Sorry I didn't mean that...actually yes I do mean that. No offence but sometimes lying is necessary." At the scepticism on his face, she held out her hand and explained "Ok for example, how would you tell a friend that her new hairstyle looks like absolute crap, without hurting her feelings? The hairs gone so she has to wait for it to grow back, she's spent a bundle of money on the atrocity, and it's obvious she hates it too as you can tell by the way her eyes are tearing up. You want her to feel good about herself not worse; so what would you do?"

He chuckled and shook his head "I've never had to do that."

"You don't have hairdressers on Krypton?"

"We don't tend to worry about things like that."

She snorted lightly in return "Well then you'd better think of stuff to say while you're here on Earth, because we do worry about things like that. So if a woman ever asks if you like her hairstyle, for god's sakes don't say no, just lie and say yes."

"Um, well I won't lie but I won't say that I like it either."

"So what will you say?" She asked challengingly.

He scratched his ear "Well more than likely women won't ask me that."

"Wanna bet." Lois scoffed softly, then shook her head "Superman you're helping me out with this article, so I'm going to help you out too; either learn to lie, or learn the art of diplomacy."

"You mean learn to evade telling the truth." He asked forthright.

"Exactly."

He nodded "I'll think of something."

"Well you'd better because the last thing you want to do is offend people by telling the truth, just because you don't want to lie."

"Would women really be upset if I don't like their new hairstyle?" He asked dubiously.

"It's not just that, humans tell little white lies for all sorts of reasons. For example, you don't tell someone they have an ugly baby, you don't tell someone their cooking is so bad that even the starving people in the world won't eat it, you don't tell someone their outfit is absolutely hideous..." She paused and patted his arm "You're in the public arena Superman, and my article will make you even more so. Trust me, diplomacy is essential. As long as it's not hurting anyone, and it's not going to come back to bite you in the bum, there's nothing wrong with it, ok?"

"Is there such a thing as an ugly baby?" He asked seriously.

"Yes...." She replied promptly then quickly cleared her throat and corrected "I mean no; well yes but what you may think of as pleasing, others might not." She paused and rolled her eyes "Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. For example, a human man will salivate over a playboy centrefold, but that same woman won't thrill a male skunk in the least, he'll be turned on by a female skunk instead; see what I mean."

He nodded, bit his lip then opened his mouth to speak but ended by cocking his head to the side.

"What is it?"

"Someone's in trouble."

"Right, so this is a job for Superman?"

"Yeah...." He stood up, floated out the window then turned back "....be seeing you."

"I hope so." She replied and then he was gone.

Retaking her seat, she read through her notes again before placing her fingers on the keys of the laptop and the article that she'd been struggling to write earlier poured forth from her head, to her fingers and onto the computer. Sitting back an hour later, Lois knew she had a story which was going to make her editor crow in delight. A few days ago Superman saved her life; today he'd saved her sanity and given her the goods for a story that was going to make all the other reporters gnash their teeth in envy she thought happily.

Coming back to the present, Lois let out a deep sigh, removed her arm from over her face and stared up at the ceiling. Instead of abating, her feelings for Superman had grown in the past six months. All across the board, in every way possible, he epitomised everything she wanted in a man. She knew that he cared about her, knew that he felt their connection as much as she did, the problem was that she didn't know just how deep his feelings for her went. Was he attracted to her, but not so much that he wanted to be with her. Was she special to him only because she was his Pauline; the woman in constant peril and needing his rescue? Did he like her, but only in the same way that he liked everyone?

She never thought this would happen to her, had always believed that Lois Lane was too smart to be caught in loves snare; well that was clearly only because a certain man of steel hadn't been around before. Once or twice she thought that she'd detected some nuance in Superman's voice or expression that said he felt romantic towards her, but in the next moment it was gone. When that happened she'd realise that once again she was just projecting her wishful dreams of him loving her, and seeing chimera's that just weren't there.

Pushing herself up to a sitting position, Lois shook her head in disbelief. She was a bold, forthright, confident woman, and with everyone else that hadn't changed, but Superman tied her in knots and reduced her to a giggly awkward adolescent. They said that love made fools out of the best of them, well she'd hadn't only joined the ranks of the foolish, it seemed that she was now their leader.

At the knock on the door, she frowned, stood up and stepping over looked through the peep hole to see Clark Kent standing on the other side. Shrugging internally, she pulled it open and smiled in greeting "Hi; what are you doing here?" Holding the door wider, she waved him in then turned to smile at him curiously "Is something wrong?"

"No, I just thought I'd come over and find out if everything was alright with you."

"Sure why wouldn't it be?"

"Well you were going to meet me for coffee."

"Coffee…?" She repeated puzzled before her face cleared a moment later "I'm sorry Clark; I hope you didn't wait for long."

He shook his head casually and lied "No, I just wondered if something came up after I left work and that's why you couldn't make it."

"I got caught up talking with Perry about our article and then well…" She cleared her throat and shrugged apologetically "I forgot." At the hurt on his face she quickly rushed on "But I did say that I'd meet you if I could, it wasn't a firm arrangement or anything, remember?"

"You could have made it but you forgot." He pointed out quietly.

"Yeah sorry…" After waving him to a seat Lois made herself comfortable in the facing recliner "Did you want us to meet for some particular reason?"

"No, I just thought it'd be nice for us to talk about something other than work, because when we're at the Planet that's all we talk about." He replied casually.

She nodded hesitantly "Ok, so did you want to talk about anything in particular?"

"No, I just..." He coughed and shrugged "I just thought it'd be nice."

"I see; well you're welcome to stay for a cup of coffee now if you'd like."

"I don't want to interrupt or anything."

"You're not, I was just relaxing..." She smiled crookedly "Well I was trying to relax but then I got caught up watching this documentary on TV and then well..." She squeed and smiled hugely "Superman stopped by and...."

"Did he?" Clark cut in casually.

"Yeah, he just came by to check if I was ok after today's fiasco, but how can I relax around him? He's just so...." Lois trailed off and lifted her hands helplessly.

"Yeah, he's just so." Clark smiled tightly.

Sitting forward eagerly, she confided "God Clark how can I help but love him. He not only saves me, but he's caring enough to come by just to check that I'm alright, I mean how many people would actually do that. He's saved me more times than I can remember since his first appearance, yet instead of telling me to be more careful because I'm wasting his time, or being indifferent figuring that I must be used to almost getting killed every other week, he still comes round to ensure I'm ok." She let out a deep breath and smiled wistfully "Superman's just so nice, and so thoughtful. Sometimes I find it hard to even think straight around him and, yet; well take tonight for example. When he made the move to leave, I began to gabber on about food and alcohol trying to think of some way to keep him here longer and instead of laughing at me, he nicely turned me down without even hinting that I must have sounded like some kind of pathetic desperate loser."

"You're not a loser." He reproved softly.

She shot him a look of gratitude and reaching over patted his arm "Thanks Clark you can be incredibly sweet sometimes, but even though I'd agree that around most men I can hold my own, with Superman I just can't keep it together." Raking a hand through her hair, Lois grimaced lightly "Sometimes...oh hell who am I kidding; most of the time I act like a girl who's nervously waiting to receive her first kiss, and that's a joke in and of itself. The fantasies I've had about Superman aren't in any way childish, yet with my luck if he did ever make a move on me, I'd probably giggle and ruin the moment, making a complete ass of myself in the process."

"Haven't you kissed Superman before?" He asked casually, knowing that she had.

"Once and it was....wow." Sitting back, she grinned "It was that time a couple of months ago when I was affected with that pheromone drug, well everyone at the Planet was affected by it remember?" He nodded "Well Superman got a really huge dose of it when he was stopping Miranda and he said..." She squeed again "He said that he loved me."

"He said that he loved you."

"Uh huh, see I told him that it was lucky he wasn't affected by the stuff, but he was because he looked me directly in the eye and said 'Lois Lane, I love you.' I swear my heart just about stopped when he said that...." She paused and shrugged woefully, but the light didn't leave her eyes "I promise that I had no intention of taking advantage of the situation, but when I told him that I wouldn't he looked kind of downcast, so I said 'Oh to heck with it' and kissed the hell out of him. I figured that it might be my one chance of showing him how good it could be between us, and boy it was even better than I imagined it could be."

Clark nodded knowing that Lois was right. She wasn't the only one who'd given her all, he'd put his heart and soul into that kiss. Unfortunately being Superman he couldn't pretend to be affected by the pheromone for days as normal people had been. However, he had taken the opportunity of pretending to be drugged by the opiate long enough to declare his feelings, had willingly let her take advantage of the moment to kiss him, and happily kissed her back.

She raked a hand through her hair and sighed "Have you ever been in love Clark; I mean love with a capital L, not a small one?"

"Oh well I'm not sure what...." He shrugged and trailed off.

"You'll know it when the real things hits you like a ton of bricks, believe me. Even though I know it was the pheromone that caused him to say it, it was still the best moment of my life." She rolled her eyes to the heavens "That's what love does to you; it makes you an idiot so you don't know whether you're coming or going."

He grinned in response knowing she was absolutely right.

"Ah well, maybe one day it'll come true."

"Do you really think so Lois?"

"Where there's life, there's hope." She retorted pleasantly before getting to her feet "I'll go put the kettle on...actually I know it's a bit late, but have you had dinner yet?" At his head shake she smiled "I haven't either, do you feel like some pizza?"

"Yeah that'd be great."

After deliberating back and forth for a few minutes, she picked up the phone, put in their order and hung up "Ok, well it's going to take about 20 minutes so how would you feel about having desert while we're waiting?" At the curiosity on his face, she leant forward and spoke in low tones as if sharing a secret "We can have some wine, and I've got these cookies that have both white and milk chocolate chunks in them. I'm telling you Clark, they're so good it's amazing that it's not a sin to eat them."

Grinning at her manner and description, he waved his arm "Bring on desert."

Giggling Lois nodded "Ok well you get the wine from the rack, while I get the glasses and the cookies."

Getting to his feet, Clark picked out the wine, opened it and returned to the lounge room. When Lois turned back with a tray containing the glasses, cookies and napkins, he jumped to his feet to relieve her of the burden, and after pouring them both a glass, passed one to her, snagged a cookie and happily munched. Sighing in pleasure, he wiggled back into his seat, took a sip of the wine and almost spat it back out again at her next words.

"So who were you attracted to?"

"Um well..." He shifted uncomfortably and sipped again trying to buy some time "What'd you mean?"

"I mean when you were sprayed with the pheromone drug. Unlike everyone else, myself included you didn't act like a loved up moron, and talking about it a few minutes ago, has now got me curious as to why."

"Well I..." He shrugged and buried his nose in the glass stalling for time.

"There are some really nice not to mention beautiful women at the Planet, weren't you attracted to one of them, not even a little bit?" Lois asked curiously and reaching forward picked up a cookie then bit in relishing the explosion of taste on her tongue.

"Well I...." He coughed uncomfortably and trailed off into silence.

Seeing his uneasiness and finally understanding it, Lois swallowed the bite of cookie, washed it down with wine and lightly laughed "Don't be embarrassed that you aren't attracted to me Clark, I promise not to be offended."

"Um what?"

She rolled her eyes once again "Don't play dumb, my ego has recovered, actually it recovered pretty swiftly, even more so after what Superman said."

"Lois I don't know what you're talking about." He replied completely perplexed.

"I'm talking about the fact that there I was juiced up on the stuff, trying to seduce you, throwing myself at you, and you not only turned me down but when I asked why you didn't fall for me after the stuff wore off, you said that you just weren't attracted to me." She reminded him patiently, and saw the dawning comprehension in his eyes.

Oh shit, good one Clark. You wanted to score points by teasing Lois, so brilliantly told her that she doesn't do anything for you. Cursing silently, he shrugged uncomfortably "I thought you said that I was lying."

"Yeah but at the time I was just trying to save face because I'd made such a fool of myself over you, and was turned down for my efforts." She grinned readily "However, that was a while ago now, so I can laugh about it. Besides I figure that since you never reciprocated my doped up feelings, that you were telling the truth."

He silently cursed again "I didn't throw myself at anyone."

"I know which is very weird. Attraction isn't love, yet you weren't besotted with anyone."

He cleared his throat and decided it was way past time to set the record straight "Well now that's really not true." At the slight frown between her eyes, he hoped that what he said now would be enough to make Lois realise that she'd been labouring under an erroneous impression caused by his idiocy when he'd teased her "When you turned up at my place and did the dance of the seven veils I had to struggle not to take advantage of you. After that you fell asleep and I paced around my apartment for hours trying not to give in, but don't forget that just as you woke up, I strode into the bedroom, took you in my arms and said 'Lois I can't take it any longer, if you want me I'm yours'." At the arrested expression on her face, he smiled lopsided "I guess you kind of forgot that part huh?"

"Yeah I did." She giggled then narrowed her eyes "So you did lie."

"Mmm hmm, I did." He confirmed sedately.

"Well it's nice to know that even sprayed with a love drug, Clark Kent is gentleman enough that he won't give in on his own behalf or take advantage of my doped up state."

"I almost gave in." He reminded her gently.

"Yeah, but considering I'd been throwing myself at you for 48 hours prior to that and yet you managed to keep your hands to yourself, I'm still going to classify you as a gentleman." Reaching out she patted his hand "Thanks Clark, you could have acted like the rest of us and given in anytime when I was throwing myself at you, and although I wouldn't have blamed you for it afterwards, I would have been mortified, so thanks."

"You're welcome."

She cocked a brow and her lips lifted in a half smile "Well at least I don't feel like a complete loser now, before you reminded me of that, I thought; hey he was sprayed and not attracted to me at all, what a bummer."

"Did you want me to be?" He asked tactfully.

"Well it'd only be polite to fall for me when I fell for you." She joked light heartedly.

He grinned and lifted his glass in salute "Well now you know that I was lying."

She chortled out loud "Just think how embarrassing it would have been if we had done something, and afterwards had to pretend like it never happened."

"We should be used to that." At her frown, he remembered the Valentine's day redK lipstick episode didn't happen in this new timeline that he'd created, so quickly brought up another incident "Remember....well no you wouldn't, but I'm talking about the time you, Chloe and Lana were possessed by those witches, and the one inside you came onto me."

Lois frowned harder, before her forehead smoothed out "I'd forgotten about that."

"I hadn't; the three of you created havoc." Clark replied drolly.

"The three witches created havoc; Chloe, Lana and I were the unfortunate victims." She corrected with a small chortle of laughter "It's funny isn't it; who knew back then that one day we'd be friends?"

"I did." He replied promptly.

At the disbelieving smile on her face, he recalled another time when she'd said "Clark Kent and Lois Lane, who knew?" He'd given her the same reply then as he'd done a moment ago "I did" and the scepticism on her face at his words then, was the same one she was sporting now.

"We didn't always get along, but we had our moments." He put in quickly.

She nodded slowly, and let out a small smile "Yeah I guess we did at that."

"I missed you after I left Smallville." He told quietly, nodding when her brow quirked in surprise "I missed the nagging."

Lois gurgled in laughter and reaching out swatted his arm "I didn't nag, just nicely tried to push you around."

"I pushed back." He reminded her with a quick smile.

"You did and although it was annoying, I would have hated it if you'd just gone along willy-nilly with whatever I said." She admitted with a quick smile in return.

He nodded again then cocked his head to the side "Mom told me that you moved back into the house after I left."

"Yeah, I dropped by the farm the night after your dad's funeral and found that you'd left only that morning, so moved back in to keep her company."

"I didn't want to leave mom, but dad's death hit me hard and at the time I just wanted to get away." He told her softly.

"I know." She smiled sympathetically "Your mom was ok Clark; she took up your dad's seat on the senate shortly afterwards, and when she asked me to work for her, I was happy to do it. Martha Kent's a strong woman, she loved your dad, and missed him but she never let his absence cripple her. She said there were a lot of times that she wanted to curl up into a ball and hide from the world, but she refused to go down that route because she wanted to make her husband proud by doing the work that he couldn't."

Clark smiled softly and nodded "Dad would have been damn proud of her."

"Yes he would have been." Lois concurred "We parted ways when she left for Washington, and although we promised to keep in touch, life got in the way. I was busy or she was busy and eventually we just lost contact." She finished with a small sigh of regret.

"How long has it been since you've seen mom?"

Lois frowned and thought for a moment "It has to be 8 or 9 years now."

"She's on the farm again."

"Is she happy to be back?"

"Yeah, mom said that she had a fine time in Washington, but she's happy to be plain old Martha Kent again." He smiled fondly then cocked his head to the side "So how did you get from working with mom, to being a reporter Lo. The two fields aren't exactly related and journalism wasn't something that you were interested in before I left."

"No I wasn't but even though they come from opposite sides of the field, politics and journalism do cross a lot of the same lines." He nodded in agreement "Well when I began working for your mom, I also decided to go back to college to study something related to the field that I was working in. So I enrolled at Smallville U and began taking classes in political science, English, history, economics things like that. When your mom left for Washington, I stayed at the farm and not long afterwards saw an advertisement for a job at the Smallville Gazette. I figured it couldn't hurt to apply and hadn't been there for long before I discovered that I liked it. I have to admit it was a challenge writing interesting stories about a small town, but….."

Clark heard the amusement in her voice and cut in to comment "You enjoyed it."

"Yeah I did, it wasn't hard hitting journalism but it was a fun and good place to get my feet wet, all within the comfort of a community that I was already familiar with. I wrote stories about someone's cow getting into someone else's vegetable patch, how the weather has or hasn't been kind to crops, what the local farmers guild had to say about this or that, who won what at the county fair." She grinned with unabashed humour "You wouldn't believe the number of pies, cakes, casseroles etc that I was courted with just to mention someone in the paper."

He grinned back "How long did you work there?"

"Just over a year, then one day my editor told me the Daily Planet was taking applications for internships, and he encouraged me to apply. I was flattered that he believed I was good enough, and thought that working with Chloe would be fun." She smiled cheerfully "Anyway I applied and was accepted, so transferred my credits to a community college here in Metropolis, and that was that."

"You didn't want to go back to Metropolis U?" Clark asked curiously.

"I wouldn't have been able to afford it."

"And I'm guessing you didn't get kicked out of college again." He asked tongue in cheek.

"Nope, four things kept me on the straight and narrow." Holding up her hand, she began to count on her fingers and recite "One, it was my decision to be attending. Two, I was paying for it. Three, my internship at the Planet was dependant on my performance at college, and since my editor from the Smallville gazette had given me a recommendation when I applied I didn't want to let him down; and four, once I knew that being a journalist is what I wanted to do, studying didn't seem like a waste of time anymore."

"And after you got your degree, the Planet asked you stay on."

"Yeah, so with the four years work experience under my belt, which included my time at both the Planet and the Gazette, along with my degree I was offered a position as a Journalist grade 5, which I was more than happy to accept." She took a sip of wine then cocked her head to the side "What about you, you weren't interested in journalism any more than I was, so how'd you get into it?"

"One day a friend told me that I should try it since I had no other plans, and like you I soon discovered that I enjoyed it." Clark replied, smiling at the friend in question who didn't even remember that it was she who'd dropped off the application and encouraged him to apply.

"Well then maybe leaving Smallville was the right thing for you to do. I mean you met someone who helped to put you on the path to your chosen career, and you wouldn't have met them if you'd stayed."

"I believe that no matter where I was or what I did, one day I would have met her regardless." He countered softly.

"That sounds like something you'd say." Lois grinned and let out a small laugh when he childishly stuck out his tongue. "Although I do agree that some people are meant to be in your life for good, while others are just there long enough to point you in the right direction when you need it."

"Now that doesn't sound like you, in fact it sounds too la la to be coming from Lois Lane." He likewise laughed when she similarly stuck out her tongue in return.

"Shut up." She giggled at the smug smile on his face, before sobering "Your sudden disappearance took everyone by surprise you know."

"In what way?"

"Well one day you were there, and the next you were just gone." She replied candidly "Lana was really upset and cried a lot. I tried to be sympathetic but there's only so much I can take before my patience begins wearing thin. On the other hand I was luckier than Chloe. Since they were friends she had to listen to many more tearful confessions and lamentations than I did, and I know that she got tired of it as well. We tried to be forbearing but hearing the same thing over and over again months on end just got old; especially when it got to the point that she seemed to enjoy wallowing in her misery. Believe me if you'd come back anytime after the first six months, both Chlo and I would have belted you for putting us through that."

"Sorry." He smiled meekly.

"So you bloody well should be.' She growled good natured before sobering "Why did you do it Clark? I understand that you were hurting, but just disappearing like that without saying anything to her wasn't a nice thing to do."

"Especially given my history with her before that point you mean."

"Yeah, I was surprised but not hurt, Chloe was hurt because she was a good friend of yours, and you know she had a thing for you at the time; but Lana was different to both of us. You spent years chasing after her, made it clear to everyone that she was the love of your life, she finally gave in and became your girlfriend, and then you just left her high and dry without a word."

"I never said she was the love of my life, I just said a lot of other ridiculous things that teenagers say when in the throes of their first love." He corrected weakly.

Lois nodded in agreement "I know that now I'm older, I daresay we all do even Lana, but still considering all of that..."

He sighed heavily and ran a hand over the back of his neck "I agree it was a rotten thing to do, and I could have handled it better, but I knew that if I told Lana I was leaving, I would have been subjected to a scene of tears and accusations which is what I wanted to avoid." He admitted openly "Lana took everything to heart and made it personal, so even if I tried to explain why I had to get away for my own sake, instead of understanding she would've made it all about her, and at the time I just didn't have it in me to care about her upset, when I had enough of my own; do you know what I mean?" Lois nodded in understanding. "Anyway, I wasn't gone for long before I forgot all about her, which made all my former declarations of love for her just so much hogwash. I soon figured out the only reason I was such a sap about her for years was because she was right there in front of me, but when she wasn't, my feelings for her likewise vanished. At least by leaving I saved myself from living through a lot of unnecessary teenage theatrics. As it was I went through enough of melodrama with Lana before I left, and I'm sure there would have been even more had I stayed, so I'm glad that I didn't." He finished in a voice full of certainty.

"Have you seen her since you've been back?" Lois enquired gently.

"Yeah; she still lives in Smallville, and as I go to visit mom quite often I've run into Lana around town a few times." He admitted readily "At first she wasn't happy to see me, but she no longer seems to be holding a grudge about my leaving. It wouldn't matter if she was, I left for my sake not hers, and I wasn't going to apologise to her on bended knee for it."

"You said that to her?" Lois asked surprised.

"No, I just told her I left because dad's death had hit me hard and I had to get away." He sighed and confessed "She was angry, said that I'd hurt her by leaving without a word, I said that I was sorry and that was it. She wanted to talk, but what was there to talk about. That all happened 10 years ago, and I seriously doubt that she'd been pining for me all that time so saw no point in raking it up again."

"What'd she say?"

He blew out a deep breath and shrugged "She wasn't happy about it, but what could she say? I had left, had told why and said that I was sorry for hurting her, but also made it clear that regardless of everything, I still had no regrets in leaving, so..." He shrugged once more, sipped the last of his wine and set the glass down.

Lois nodded, likewise finished her wine and placed it on the coffee table, before sitting back against the couch "Chloe missed you a lot."

"I've spoken to her on the phone a few times. The first time I called her she said that despite feeling hurt that I'd left without saying goodbye, she understood why I did it so harbours no hard feelings." He smiled slightly "Then she teased me about being a journalist, but when I mentioned that I was working at the Planet with you, I heard the reservation in her voice even though she tried to disguise it." He paused and asked quietly "Is everything ok between the two of you Lo? When I talk to Chloe she doesn't seem keen on hearing about our work, and you've hardly mentioned her since I've been back."

Lois sighed regretfully "Unfortunately by the time she left Metropolis to pursue a journalism career in Opal City, we weren't as close as we had been while growing up."

"What happened?"

"I mentioned before that I thought working at the DP with her would be fun." He nodded slowly, and she nodded in return "Well it didn't turn out that way. At first everything seemed fine I guess, but it wasn't long before there was tension and then it just got worse. One day Peter, he was my editor at the time, well he sent me out to cover a human interest story about a woman whose husband had died in a boating accident and his body was never recovered. Her husband was a Senator, and that's why the story was being done at all. It was supposed to be a fluff piece, but while I was interviewing the lady she said some stuff that didn't sound right and I started to hear alarm bells. However, when I told Peter about it and later Chloe I got the same reaction from both of them; laughter and a headshake about my suspicious nature. So I worked it in my free time and ended up blowing the lid on a huge insurance scam that the dead husband, who wasn't really dead at all, was perpetuating."

Lois shrugged unhappily "Anyway, I got a lot of attention from of the story which Chloe didn't seem happy about, and when the story went national she made a few snide remarks which I tried to ignore, but after a while I just couldn't so asked her what the problem was. Well that's when she told me the problem was that I was encroaching on her career at the Planet. When I reminded her that she was the one who encouraged me to pursue journalism by roping me in at the Torch, then further reminded her that she didn't believe the story had any merit when I told her about my suspicions beforehand, she just got angrier. Apparently she never expected me to be really good at journalism since working at the Smallville rag wasn't anything to write home about. She'd never wanted me working at the Planet in the first place, never expected the story to amount to anything, and then she really let fly. I didn't even realise we were in competition with each other, and when I told her that she got really riled up, and all her resentment just came out."

"How long ago was that?"

"About a year after I started working at the Planet. Chloe left Metropolis shortly after that, and although we made up, things between us weren't the same. However, it seemed that distance was the best thing in the end. Chloe's not as uptight as she used to be, and she's seems to be happy now that she's no longer being hidden by my shadow." Lois smiled wanly "Those were her words when she told me off. But if being away from me is what she needed, then I can't blame her for it. It can't be pleasant feeling like you don't exist, because your cousin is the star."

"Her words?" He asked and at Lois' nod, he reached over and took her hand to squeeze gently "It wasn't your fault Lo, you're a good journalist and instead of stewing in resentment about your accomplishments, Chloe should have spent her time more productively by carving out her own career at the Planet, instead of leaving in a snit." He squeezed her hand once more before letting go and sitting back in his seat.

Shaking his head Clark sighed softly "She could have asked you for help or tips with her career, but was probably too proud to do so since she'd worked on the paper at school. However, being the editor of a school rag is one thing, but it sure as hell isn't enough to cut it in the real world, and just wanting to be a journalist your whole life, doesn't mean that you're entitled to a better reporter than someone who didn't have aspirations to it. I think your working at the Smallville Gazette was a hell of an accomplishment considering you didn't have any formal experience, so Chloe had no right to imply that it wasn't good enough."

Lois smiled at the fierceness in his tone "Thank you, but I really don't think she meant any harm, she was just blowing off steam at the time. Anyway, I've never been ashamed of working at the Gazette, I had a good time and the people were great. I actually learnt a lot more from them than I did from some of the classes that I took." She told him candidly.

"I know what you mean, because I also learnt more on the job than I did from some of the courses that I took to get my journalism degree." Clark admitted readily.

"Yeah, I mean getting my degree was necessary and worth it, because I knew that good reporter or not, I could only go so high at the Planet but never reach the pinnacle without one. However, if I hadn't worked at the Gazette first, I wouldn't have known that I wanted to be a journalist at all."

"Exactly, it was the same for me which is why I also took the required courses by correspondence to get mine." He replied frankly before resuming the conversation "But getting back to the point Lo, the real problem wasn't you it was Chloe's own insecurities. Where Journalism came naturally to you, she worked and studied at it, but in the final analysis you're the better reporter, and do you know why that is?" At her hesitant head shake, he told her truthfully "It's because you follow hunches Lo, and you don't let other people's jeers or doubts put you off. The story on the insurance scam is a prime example of that. You could have let your editor and Chloe, both of whom had more experience than you at the time stop you from following it up, but instead of being cowed by their reactions you investigated on your own time, and didn't give up until you knew the truth." He paused and added "Another reason is that Chloe used to depend too much on her computer skills and the internet to supply the answers to whatever information she was searching for. Well I've worked with you for six months Lo, and I know that you don't do that. You're on the phone harassing people, out on the street looking for information, talking to the police, informants, witnesses etc; you actually investigate Lo. So unless Chloe's changed her methods, follows hunches, and gets out from behind her computer to venture into the real world to search for answers, she'll never be as good a reporter as you are."

Lois' lips curved upwards "If I was as computer savvy as she is, I might have done the same."

"No you wouldn't." Clark returned confidently.

Letting out a small huff of laughter, she nodded "No I wouldn't; I enjoy harassing people too much."

He grinned in return "Especially when they tick you off."

"Yeah." She agreed with relish then smiled in challenge "You harass people too, you're just more subtle about it than me."

"If by subtle you mean that I don't yell at them, tell them off, or sarcastically decry their intelligence when it's obvious they're full of crap, then you're right." He agreed cheerfully.

She let out a shout of laughter and bobbed her head "We make a good team."

"Yes we do." He concurred heartily.

"I'm glad you're back Clark. I wasn't at first but it wasn't a personal bias against you, I just didn't want a partner slowing me down, or trying to run the show...."

"Since you're used to running it." He cut in cheekily.

She grinning hugely in reply "Yeah, but even though we have different methods of reporting, we seem to work well together."

"I think our different methods actually complement each other." He returned genially.

"They do." Lois agreed readily "I missed you too y'know." At his lifted brows she nodded "When you weren't around I realised that I missed having a sparring partner. No one else could match wits with me the way you could. When I tried being a smartass to some people they apologised, stammered or took offence. You seemed to get where I was coming from no matter what my mood, and more often than not supplied a rejoinder that suited. I missed that."

Clark grinned widely in return "I know what you mean. Lana and Chloe were the two I hung out with and I couldn't behave with them they way I could with you. Lana didn't have much of a sense of humour, and I had to guard how I talked around her because she took offence so easily. And Chloe was more interested in looking for stories to boost her career, first at the Torch then later at the Planet, so wasn't interested in spending time in frivolity."

"I think frivolity is essential; how can you enjoy life if you take everything seriously. Gloom, doom and drama has its place, but it's not something that I subscribe to as a rule."

"Me neither and I agree completely." He smilingly shrugged "I think I wore myself out on all that crap when I was growing up, so now things have to be pretty bad before I'll succumb to it."

Lois giggled "I'm glad about that too."

He chuckled in turn, opened his mouth to make a smartass retort but was forestalled by the knock on the door and the call of "pizza delivery".

"I'll get it Lo."

Nodding she headed to the kitchen to grab plates and soon after they were enjoying a late dinner.

***

_Later that night_

Lying in bed with his arms tucked under his head Clark stared up at the ceiling pondering the nights' revelations. Going to Lois' place had been the right decision. If he'd stayed at home feeling discouraged because she hadn't met him for coffee earlier, he would also have remained in ignorance of the colossal stuff up he'd made two months ago. By going they'd talked, he'd listened and then took the opportunity to fix a few misconceptions that she'd been labouring under due to his blunder.

Thank god he'd managed to recover some ground by making it clear that he was attracted to her and had lied about it previously. And it hadn't been all bad. Yes he'd felt dismayed at his gaff which he'd now managed to rectify, but there had also been so much good that his heart had practically danced a jig. Lois still seemed infinitely unaware of what she revealed, but he wasn't; not anymore.

While under the influence of the pheromone drug, it wasn't Superman whom Lois fell for, chased and desired, it was Clark Kent; and the significance of that had escaped him until she reminded him of it. Lois did want him, she just didn't know it or refused to see it, but she did. The pheromone didn't lie.

It was proof that somewhere deep inside, unknown even to her, Lois Lane wanted Clark Kent more than she wanted the Superhero. Now all he had to do was get her to see it, and the first place to start was with his own behaviour. Since his return he'd acted like a friend to Lois, whereas Superman had acted like a potential love interest; well maybe it was time he switched those around. That should hopefully get Lois to see that she did want Clark, and one day just as she'd previously chosen him over the Blur, she'd once again choose him over Superman.

Their chat tonight had opened his eyes in a way they'd never been opened before; first with regards to the pheromone incident, and later when they'd discussed Lana and Chloe.

When he'd used the ring to go back, the only person he'd said goodbye to was his mom. He didn't want her waking up to find that her son was gone, so he'd told her that he was leaving to do the training because he wanted to make his dad proud. Although she'd been sad, she hadn't tried to talk him out of it for which he'd been grateful.

He'd seen in Lois' face that she did understand that he'd left because he was hurting, even though he'd purposely misled led her to believe it was due to his father's passing. In truth he'd dealt with that long ago, and although it still scraped at his heart and always would, the wound hadn't been so raw when he went back. It had been the fresh grief of losing Lois that had hurt, and the last thing he'd felt like doing was playing the part of Lana's lovesick swain for the shortest of periods; even if it was only in the pretence of sorrow for a goodbye scene.

He hadn't lied about that. At the time he really hadn't cared how Lana was going to be affected by his departure, but that didn't mean he wasn't sorry now for hurting her, because he was.

When he ran into her the first time after his return, he'd felt genuinely bad when confronted by her pent up feelings of past anger and pain, but couldn't pretend to have regrets in leaving, and felt that she at least deserved the honesty of that.

Every time he'd seen Lana since then she seemed to thaw just that little bit more. At first she was cold and stiff, less so as time went on, and now she seemed inclined to be friendly again. He had no issues with that, but would also be quite happy if their association stayed minimal. He wished that he could say he trusted her, but he knew her too well for that. Even though she didn't remember their past relationship he did, and now that the love goggles were gone he knew that she wasn't someone he could trust; or be honest with. The only kind of honesty Lana valued was the kind that didn't contradict her own beliefs or opinions.

That was one of the fundamental differences between her and Lois. Even when they were dating he'd felt free to counter, argue or disagree with Lois, and knew that he wouldn't end up in the doghouse because of it, but Lana didn't appreciate opposition in any form. It had been just one of the many unspoken rules between them; he towed the line or she walked out. It was a damn shame that he did, instead of saying 'Oh well cheerio then, and by the way regarding that walk you take; make it a long one off a short pier'.

Another difference was that even though Lois liked to keep her hand on the wheel, she didn't feel the need to wear the pants in a relationship whereas Lana did; and her way of doing that was through emotional blackmail. Surprisingly he'd never noticed that when they were together, and as a result had fallen for her tricks time and again, but not anymore. Maybe Lana had changed, maybe she hadn't, but as her anger over his departure now seemed to be a thing of the past, he could only surmise that she'd decided it was pointless showing the sulks or holding a grudge when he was indifferent to it.

Whatever the reason for her turn around he was ok with it as long as friendship was all she wanted. He was now savvy enough to know when a woman was interested or trying it on, so knew that he wasn't mistaken about the look he'd detected in Lana's eyes the last time he'd seen her. However, despite his discomfort about it, he had to acknowledge that it could just be the natural curiosity a person felt over an old flame. But if it wasn't, then he'd make it abundantly clear that he had no desire in taking up where they left off, if she tried to start up anything.

Then there was Chloe. Turning onto his side, he sighed softly at the look of cheerless distress in Lois' eyes while talking about her cousin. He was sad that Chloe's jealousy of Lois had once again caused a rift between them, and although he hadn't been surprised to hear of it, he did feel regretful. Unfortunately he knew from experience that no matter where Lois worked, no matter what circumstances occurred, Chloe's attitude to her cousin's accomplishments would be constant.

Unhappily there was nothing he could do, it was up to Chloe to decide whether she wanted to put aside her jealousy and make up with her cousin properly or not. He was tempted to step in and talk to her, but the last thing he wanted to do was stick his nose in, get Chloe's back up, and potentially hurt Lois even more in the process.

Letting out a deep sigh he turned onto his back again and determined that he'd mind his own business on the subject. However, if Chloe ever wanted to talk to him about it, he'd be there for her to talk to, but he wouldn't stand for any badmouthing of Lois and he'd make that clear if need be.

Regrettably he remembered all too clearly how dismissive he and Chloe had been about Lois' job at the Inquisitor, and wished that he could forget both his rotten attitude about that, and the disparaging remarks he'd made to Chloe about working with her cousin at the Daily Planet. At least it had never happened in this time, and he was thankful that tonight he'd been given the opportunity to be supportive to Lois of her job at the Gazette, and hoped that in some kind of karma way it made up for his previous snideness.

He'd never thought about it before, but when he'd taken up working at the Planet last time, Chloe hadn't turned on him the way she had her cousin. She'd given him a hard time about other things, but not about being a reporter. Whether that was because even though she was no longer in the news game herself she didn't think he was worthy competition, if it was just a cousin thing, a woman thing, or because she was too in awe of his super side to care about his normal side; maybe it was a combination of them all. But whatever the reason, he'd been spared Chloe's barbs and spite about his career, and that spoke volumes about the difference between her and Lois.

Although Lois had pretended to be snarky at the idea of working with him, when he did as she suggested and applied for a job at the Planet, he knew that she'd been pleased. When he'd turned up on his first day of work in his flannel shirt, she could have left him looking foolishly unprofessional, but instead had marched over, rifled through another reporters clothing, and despite the man's protests grabbed some before swiftly ushering him into the phone booth to change. On the job she'd been competitive, which was part of her nature, and a necessary requirement in the news game unless you enjoyed being scooped but she hadn't harboured resentment when he showed promise as a reporter. She'd taken him under her wing, helped him, advised him, shown him the ropes and praised him when she felt that he'd earned it. Considering the things he'd said behind her back, it would have served him right if she'd left him to sink or swim on his own.

The last time he'd come to see so many of Lois' sterling qualities, ones that he'd been oblivious to for far too long. Initially her dad being a general, their mutual antipathy for each other, and her job at the Inquisitor had all made him think she was the last person he could trust with his secrets, or want in his life permanently much less romantically. Yet she was the one who'd proven to be faithful in every way as a friend, the Blur's advocate, and Clark Kent's girlfriend.

Having lived through it once already, Clark knew what would have happened, and what did happen, so could speak from a position of authority about all three women. Lana and Chloe had had their place in his life last time; frankly he'd given both of them too much place, more often than not to his own detriment. But this time, until the end of time, the only woman other than his mom who would hold pride of place in his life and heart was Lois Lane.

His eyes closed and his lips curved when her face swam before his lids; and remembering once again that she'd fallen for Clark Kent not Superman, he slipped quietly into sleep.

***

Lois lay in bed and looked up at the ceiling with a smile. She'd had a really good tonight. First Superman had dropped in, which always thrilled the hell out of her, then Clark had come over and she'd also enjoyed his company, but in a different way.

It was funny how she liked spending time with him now, when years ago she hadn't. Back then someone had to almost hold a gun held to their heads to make them talk to each other with any civility for more than five minutes, and now he ranked right up there as one of her closest friends. He was nice, sweet, a gentleman. He could have turned out differently. After leaving Smallville and away from his parents influence for the first time in his life, he could have gone wild. A lot of kids did upon getting their first taste of freedom, but Clark didn't seem to have changed much at all really. The basic traits that she'd noted in his makeup years ago were still there and she was glad about that.

His outlook was more mature, but that was only to be expected, hers was too. He'd turned into one very handsome man, and it was amazing that he didn't seem disposed to take up any of the women who'd given him the come on, not even just to date and see how things went, but she guessed that was just Clark all over. Way back when the only girl he was interested in was Lana Lang, so he hadn't really bothered with other girls who'd given him the hairy eyeball and that didn't seem to have changed. Clark Kent was a one woman man, so she had no doubt that when he met a woman or even THE woman and fell for her, he'd be just as determined to get her as he had been when a kid in pursuit of Lana. Hell the poor woman he fell for wouldn't even know what hit her, she chuckled lightly.

Turning over Lois looked out the window and sighed. She'd already met the man of her dreams, but had no idea how to get him to see that she was the woman of his.

God the fantasies she'd had about him, of him and her, of them together. Kissing and kissing until they were breathless, taking his suit off really slowly as he likewise disrobed her. Feeling his touch, smoothing her palms over the hard smooth contours of his body, skin against skin, rolling lazily over the bed, and making love until they were both exhausted, then falling asleep in his arms, only to wake up and start all over again. She'd actually had fantasies about her fantasies.

She thought that she'd been in love before, but that had been child's play compared to this; this was whole new territory. Superman was everything that she'd ever wanted in a man, without even knowing that she wanted it until he was there. He was simply the best; the face and body of a Greek god, heroic, sweet, charming and nice. It was almost too good to be true, but it was true. Here was a man who had all the qualities that she never would have believed could exist in one person, and yet they did in him.

She could imagine them together so easily; getting married, setting up house, little fights, big fights, and making up afterwards; the hours and hours they'd spend making up. Giggling lightly, she turned onto her side and wiggled in delight. Lois Lane and Superman, um no that didn't sound right. Mr and Mrs Superman; ok that was even worse. Well of course they sounded dumb Lois, you named him Superman, but he must have a real name, one that his parents gave him.

Mr and Mrs....grrr, she couldn't even imagine what his name was, and although she wanted to know it, she certainly hoped it wasn't going to be some weird ass alien name that was too unpronounceable for the human tongue to speak, or too high pitched for the human ear to hear. If it did end up being something like that, then she'd gently ask if he'd mind using the name John Smith.

Lois Smith; no Lois Lane-Smith; well it wasn't fantastic but it was better than Lois Lane-Wtf.

Now if she could just tap into some of the determination she used when chasing a story her problems would be solved. That's what she had to do; she had to be the logical, reporter Lois around Superman even when they weren't discussing a story. Then he'd see that she was a mature, self possessed, confident woman, THE woman that he couldn't live without, instead of an incompetent dimwit who needed to be looked after, or a fawning idiot who just embarrassed herself.

She'd do it; Lois nodded decisively then frowned just as quickly. Big words, it was so easy to say she was going to do something when Superman wasn't around, but when he was.....letting out a sigh she closed her eyes and turned over; she'd try.

When his face swam in front of her eyes, her lips curved upward; she'd try her damndest.


End file.
